Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading." FML
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Top comments
deLongenator 4
Then kick him hard!
HolaJessicaHola 0
Kick hard. Tell him "we want to be sure, right?"
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Comments (198)
theonlysweetpea 10
... roll with it. Keep goin til you get enough...
LolFMLnot 10
So did you kick him or no?
dylwalk 3
To every one who is saying do it, because he doesn't deserve to reproduce, you are proving his point
perdix 31
Do your own experiment. Start my conducting controlled testes.
mileena 7
Certainly feels that way...
onlychildFTW 34
That's some really painful birth control. I'll take none of that please. Haha.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Ha, that's a wonderful excuse to kick him in the balls REALLY hard ;)
jePomme 0
Seems legit.
BMTHsuperfan 18
Let's find out, shall we?
brianjman14 23
What an idiot! Everyone knows the 100% effective way of birth control is pulling out!
kalbrek009 20
Actually 86, it's "NEVER putting in in". Hope you know better & were just being sarcastic...otherwise-you'd be just as ignorant as OP's BF. Pre-cum has sperm in it & leaks out during sex so the "pull out" method is unreliable. Maybe you're just sterile & couldn't get any pregnant anyways (@ least I'm hoping that's the case for you after seeing your profile picture & reading your comment IF you really believe what you said to be true)