Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
deLongenator 4
Then kick him hard!
HolaJessicaHola 0
Kick hard. Tell him "we want to be sure, right?"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (198)
ChrisG19 0
Ever been kicked in the balls? No? Well it definitely keeps me from wanting to have sex, mainly because I'm too busy being nauseas and holding back bile to do anything sexual.
skulskinator 5
He's right kick them hard enough they will fall off
thunter2000 2
And those are the people wondering why they pay so much on child support.
JetteLette 9
"let's find out. One.. Two... Three... CRUNCH! Well... It worked. I don't think he can have kids now"
fishface517 10
Why is everyone saying to kick him and dump him? Yeah he may be wrong in a way- but that doesn't mean to put the poor guy through pain!
Pinkfreak43 5
Give him a nice hard kick for me?
aliserboi97 0
it is real
BlAzEtHiS 0
You may want to trade him in on a slightly less retarded model.
cjrand 7
You deserve it if you knew what kind of idiot you were getting into... But depending on how hard you kick him, he will not want to have sex for a while, so he is kinda right
iloveyouandmusic 10
Wow, he's a dumbass. You should test his theory.