Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML
Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML
Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML
Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, whilst walking to a primary school to give pupils a lesson on cleanliness, I tripped and landed on a dog turd. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Yulia_fml 0
this gives a whole new meaning to the child's insult "poo-poo head" and why does the snow matter?
epound28 0
how did your dog shit on the leash? did you have it wrapped around it's balls? and even so, what the **** goes through your head that makes you flick the leash. flick it. what the ****? and what the **** does the snow have to do with warm shit making love to your facial pores? YDI OP, YDI.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
CallMeHush 0
Feels good, don't it? 8)
summerloolooloo 0
Gross.
Gaymee 0
Oh. Now that's jut nasty. ...at least it warmed you up in the cold 6 inched snow, though. :D
advent2060 4
u totally deserve that for doing something stupid like flicking the leash towards ur face lol
xonk21 0
seriously, wipe it off on the grass or something
markisunder0ath 0
"today, I purposely pooped on my leash infront on my dumbass owner. they then proceeded to fling the poo onto their own face." IMMD
Mauskau 35
..i love you
rotwiler97 2
what's immd?
Shmekekey 0
Hahahahahah. I lol'd sooo hard
judetheobvious 0
YDI for having a dog
babybubz 0
dogs are ******* awesome..
smoochiepooh213 0
damn that really sucks. i bet you learned your lesson lol.
Sheebz 0
Why r u even walking with 6 inches of snow on the ground in the firsst place? okay then, YDI for being a moron u dont have to flick thr leash the hard and high, just alil push! U had a poop bag rite? Then y didnt u use that to pick of the leash????? gosh i swear SOME people these days r idiots..
sadistmonkey 19
obviously you're not from a place where 6 inches of snow on the ground is normal
babybubz 0
...or maybe you don't know how much six inches is. cuz that much snow is really not a lot... well not enough to make sense why it was used in this post.
Asstonia 1
6 inches is like nothing. I lived in Newfoundland Canada for a while and the snow banks are as high as houses
theman34 0
u had a crappy day
ycubana 0
At least, you know, that side of their face was warm.