Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML
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Top comments
ILoveEggnog 7
I always claim my farts.
SmelloJello 9
After your mom stopped chewing you out, u shoulda just farted in her face and giggled.
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Comments (138)
catcrazy101 2
wow man ppl they r ass holes i would have a bitch fit
xtacticalswarmx 0
Bunch of lame ***** thumb me down lmao.
sxe_beast 11
YDI for shopping at Walmart.
btown99909 0
next time you see him, fart in his face
HoMachine 1
I'm sure ur mom was indirectly yelling at the guy that was farting beside u
XxGuard 0
wal-mart? Go to target. Wal-mart is only good for the electronics. - - or go to Canada and go to zellers or something.
rattusrattus 19
*Is thanking all the gods there are that she doesn't live on a continent that has Wal-Mart*
sxe_beast 11
What are you talking about? Asda in the UK is owned by Wal-mart. I'm Just saying...
Riemurasia 0
Keeping in your farts is unhealthy for you, don't blame the guy throwing out the smell ;) Still, FYL for him being a tard and blaming you while he knew the truth.
KVKdragon 26
if I were you, I would have just not said a word and walked away to somewhere else until she was done grocery shopping. just to let her cool off from the alleged immaturity and then talk about what happened, in the privacy of your car or house
KiddNYC1O 22
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