Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML
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Top comments
ILoveEggnog 7
I always claim my farts.
SmelloJello 9
After your mom stopped chewing you out, u shoulda just farted in her face and giggled.
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Comments (138)
llCHR15ll 0
WOW, have you been sucking that smurfs... willy?
ChantelRenaeee 0
fart in his face and give him pinkeye.
abceasyas123abc 12
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
stronghand0331 17
I think a queef would make a much better statement. Also, it would induce a far worse pink eye.
ChantelRenaeee 0
way to ruin the moment.
xtacticalswarmx 0
Emo? What do you classify as emo? Sorry for the double post btw.
issoz 10
He wins, you lose.
annagurl7854 0
disslikeee .!(;
quazimozart 19
You could always just press the button instead of commenting
spazmattic 0
"papa smurf can I lick yo ass? yeah lick my ass bitch!"
Hotlanta 5
that would actually be hilarious. I would bust a gut laughing so hard if I saw that happen lol
shaniecerb 0
scan-do-lous
xXshadowrollerXx 6
Don't try and lie to us as well, OP. If these farts were as "vicious" as you claim, someone else would have heard them. You can't fool us, shame on you.
geeksaresexy 18
Mine are silent but deadly!
xtacticalswarmx 0
I'm not, it was just hilarious. Lol
lmaoatall 6
sorry you had an encounter with the 'dog dunnit guy'. I had a similar incident with him years back, but I was at a Don Jose Mexican restruant. i was so embarrassed!
karlita22 0
Hahaha what a looser!!!