Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML
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Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
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Top comments
hellnosucka 27
I have the exact same fear. if someone entered the bathroom while I'm peeing, I would literally hold my pee in until they get out. no matter how long they take...
AFCCT 7
Feed your toilet, OP. Feed it.
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Comments (133)
phoneaddict13 29
I have the same fear OP. Your not alone..
Zelphoric 25
What about his not alone? Did he lose it? You're* not specifying enough :p
OrangeOtang 7
This is going to sound disgusting, but you can use loo paper as a "silencer". Use it to manipulate the hole as you release the payload to change into a silent stinker
meli1195 31
Ew so you grab your own poo????
Pleonasm 35
I think he means covering the hole of the toilet with paper to muffle the noise of the splash of poo hitting the water?
FranklySpeaking 11
@23, That's also a good remedy for "splash backs".
sirpantselot 22
23, if that's what he meant, then "manipulate the hole" was a really poor choice of phrase.
peacejunior 12
I've just eat my lunch man.
thisismylifesoo 11
Well thats a shitty situation
Pleonasm 35
boo-urns.
cyttex 13
Every damn time there's a fml about bathrooms this comment shows up
conman531 23
Shit happens. Well, I guess in this case, shit doesn't happen
poppyseed420 9
I have that poster on the bathroom door
barakados 11
They have this on a poster? That's a really specific poster there
harliegrl 5
This is totally me! Know the feeling
cwl727 32
I am the same way and my friends know this so they like to talk to me and outside the door when I am trying to pee.
Pauline96_fml 20
If your bathroom has a fan try turning it on.
PrincessCastiel 27
I do that. I thought I was the only one
IneededAName99 5
Quit being a pansy, everybody *****.
Pleonasm 35
Quit being insensitive, not everybody is comfortable around others. Irrational fears wouldn't be irrational if we had ease of access to power over them. Some people are more held back by their psychology than others. That's all.
IneededAName99 5
It's a bodily function and nobody should be embarrassed/scared to do it.
olpally 32
Just let it go now op! Haha.
JMichael 25
And write this FML as you do it.