Health, Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Sexy - FML

Sexy

By Anonymous - 23/05/2014 02:36 - United States - Rockland

Spicy

Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 643

You deserved it 17 185

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

You want a piece of me?

By littlepeepboo - 30/01/2018 01:30

Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 111

You deserved it 440

By coop42 - 15/01/2014 19:22 - United States - Hortonville

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 104

You deserved it 6 076

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Spicy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 968

You deserved it 62 450

Felt cute, might delete later

By nopanties - 04/03/2013 05:11 - United States - Durham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 832

You deserved it 6 449

By tingles - 19/01/2013 13:20 - United Kingdom - Solihull

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 000

You deserved it 8 057

You rang?

By thathurt500x - 26/06/2020 20:08

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's tooth got caught on my nipple ring and ripped it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 561

By blank - 21/07/2010 13:52 - United States

Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 341

You deserved it 4 121

By tessisue - 04/01/2016 11:18 - Germany

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut in his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 866

You deserved it 2 223

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 538

You deserved it 4 560

Sick moves, dude

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 387

You deserved it 4 229

Next

Top comments

mt631 18

Friday 23 May 2014 15:31

I'm sure he wasn't too pumped about the lap dance after that.

Vintage_Cola 29

Friday 23 May 2014 15:31

Holy shit! I hope he's okay! FYL

Comments

weveallbeenthere 30

Friday 23 May 2014 15:43

I'm sure he was enjoying the lapdance till that point. be more careful next time.

Not_Impressed13 9

Friday 23 May 2014 15:43

Don't worry, OP! I'm sure your lap dances will improve with more practice! ;-)

yeahthatsmeee 10

Friday 23 May 2014 15:46

I'm sure he wasn't pumped about that...

715chiefs 15

Friday 23 May 2014 15:47

That's the second pump on him that your ass made a ruckus with.

Enslaved 36

Friday 23 May 2014 19:52

"Could you describe the ruckus, sir?" "Breakfast Club" flashback.

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 23 May 2014 15:51

sometimes love don't feel like it should, baby it hurts so good.

9echo 17

Friday 23 May 2014 15:55

Shame on you, OP. That wasn't a very sweet thing to do

worldclassrager 39

Friday 23 May 2014 15:55

Is he okay? Be more careful OP

marcranger 28

Friday 23 May 2014 15:58

Having had that happen to me from less sexy causes, I'm cringing in sympathy. OP, I'm not voting YDI when it was clearly an accident, but this is why there needs to be an FHL button!

pam241 15

Friday 23 May 2014 16:00

All I can say is... OH MY GOD

shudson186 17

Friday 23 May 2014 16:05

I know I shouldn't laugh, but seriously?? Lmao

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Keywords

Love Awkward Relatable Students Work Racism Health Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Kids Parenting Sexism Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 1 707

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 824

You deserved it 254

The Top

Today, I texted a friend saying I urgently needed his help. He gushed back along the lines of, "Glad you reached out, everyone has noticed your terrible frame of mind, you’re a suicide risk." I meant help with a tricky Excel spreadsheet, but thanks for the support I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 113

Today, I heard that one of our customers had passed away. Saddened, I told everyone who came into our shop about his death. Understandably, some customers got very upset and one even fainted. Suddenly, the "dead" man walked into the shop. Turns out I got the name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 187

You deserved it 42 213

Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 22 316

Today, my workplace was issued aprons. I then became the first and only employee in the history of the business to set an apron on fire while using the grill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 834

You deserved it 5 926

Today, I was heading out for lunch, and a co-worker asked me if I would pick up their pizza. I said yes, because, why not? Just as I arrived, they texted to inform me that the pizza was under the name "Anita Luong Duong". FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 280

You deserved it 769

Today, I checked this site to find out that my previous submission had made it onto the main page. This has been the sole highlight in my life for the past month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 190