Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML
Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML
Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML
Today, I heard grunting and then realized it was my tenant with his boyfriend. When I went down to do my laundry, I caught them in the act. FML
Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML
Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
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Top comments
alexandriababyy 0
watch ****
perdix 31
YDI for not being resourceful enough to know how to use household appliances to relieve sexual frustration. Especially when you have a neighbor that puts on demonstrations.
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Comments (25)
BunnyDrastic 0
**** it go get some!
perdix 31
YDI for not being resourceful enough to know how to use household appliances to relieve sexual frustration. Especially when you have a neighbor that puts on demonstrations.
Mulberry_fml 0
And if you happen to get caught, you can always say "eh, I fell on it".
Ninjaface 0
Or maybe you're not imaginative enough to recognize the sound of someone having sex with a vacuum cleaner.
mrlopez 13
Damn, that sucked.
SideOfTheAngels 23
Hahaha I've watched so much Supernatural that when you said "Rhythmic Moaning" I immediately thought Ghost....and you think you need to get a life!
rattyrayvn 21
Sounds like it's been a while since you cleaned your house too...
alana554 18
Maybe... That's why you live in VIRGINia. I'm sorry, I'll see myself out.