Sex, Romantic and Intimacy: Sexy talk

Sexy talk

By hamburger - 06/07/2013 21:21 - United States - Adrian

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 334

You deserved it 8 510

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 689

You deserved it 9 748

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286 071

You deserved it 68 246

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 18:27 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 325

You deserved it 48 698

You tried

By Anonymous - 24/08/2021 14:01

Today, my wife finally agreed to try anal. Unfortunately, it was too hot in the apartment so I couldn't focus and I kept going soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 671

Non sequitur

By lisacasabonita - 12/11/2010 16:31 - United States

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 239

You deserved it 42 527

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 11:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 698

You deserved it 13 305

The inner light

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, I asked my husband if we could rekindle some of our old intimacy, get back in touch with each other’s inner selves, that sort of thing. He looked confused, then got a big smile and said, “You mean we can do anal again? Why didn’t you just say so?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 635

By fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 269

You deserved it 8 036

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 973

You deserved it 6 547

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 355

You deserved it 4 616

The_Water_Ninja 9

Sunday 7 July 2013 10:35

sounds charming...

datgamerchick 14

Sunday 7 July 2013 10:35

Sounds like we know what's cooking for dinner!

Comments

mosquito19 14

Sunday 7 July 2013 22:15

you should've tell him he's having chilli dog today.

buckdharma 37

Sunday 7 July 2013 22:59

He sounds pretty rare to come off with such a raw comment. If you grill him for awhile it could be well-done.

mazor 22

Sunday 7 July 2013 23:04

Hamburger is nice though ;)

Laith 12

Monday 8 July 2013 0:06

Lol then wait for the mayonnaise!

avapaige1234 19

Monday 8 July 2013 1:48

I don't know about you, guys, but I think this is the creepiest "romantic" line I've ever known.

duckit 0

Monday 8 July 2013 2:40

Lucky guy

Pussycat86 18

Monday 8 July 2013 4:00

The nickname should be hotdog rather than hamburger I think

thatgirlkat 9

Monday 8 July 2013 4:31

Exit only.

89bronco 9

Monday 8 July 2013 4:56

That is hilarious, although when it comes to those things women should know guys will come up with stupid ass names

mccrightp 29

Monday 8 July 2013 5:18

You should show him the (back) door for saying that!!

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The Top

Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML

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Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 493

You deserved it 2 978

Today, my daughter is so selfish, she did her makeup in her hospital room so she could take a selfie with her newborn son in the background BEFORE she had even held him for the first time. Yes, BEFORE. My grandson spent his first hour of life waiting for his mom to be ready for a photo op. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 479

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Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 692

You deserved it 4 325

Today, my father once again sat me and my boyfriend of a year down to have another "talk." These "talks" are always something negative against our relationship, and how it’s not up to his standards. We’ve explained numerous times why he’s wrong. My father is about to make me single. FML

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You deserved it 184

Today, my girlfriend of two years took offense to a "That's what she said joke", and blew up, saying she doesn't like those jokes. She thinks that she is the "She" of the jokes every time I guess. I tried explaining how the jokes work, but she wouldn't believe me. She says that I'm just lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 411