Seething jealousy

By Anonymous - 07/06/2016 01:04

Today, my sister, who has been seeing a guy for a year, got engaged. I've been dating my boyfriend for over 5 years and let out some not so subtle hints and he basically refused to propose. This is her second marriage in the time of my relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 172
You deserved it 2 577

Same thing different taste

Top comments

That's probably the reason that it's her second marriage and you're still with the same guy.

I think you'll have to accept that your sister is not really selling the marriage thing too well.


I think you'll have to accept that your sister is not really selling the marriage thing too well.

That's probably the reason that it's her second marriage and you're still with the same guy.

If your boyfriend won't propose, do it yourself. Play a role reversal on him.

joeyl2008 29

Exactly, their is nothing wrong with a woman proposing. Still I feel like you should discuss marriage and figure out what the two of you want before anyone proposes

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tounces7 27

And if he says no you have a reason to dump his ass and move on to someone more willing to commit.

Not wanting to marry doesnt mean they don't want to commit....

some people don't really want marriage, even if they want to spend their life with someone. it's not that unusual these days. or, maybe there's some issues in your relationship that aren't big enough to end it, but mean he isn't sure he wants to take that step. you can't judge your own relationship on someone else's, and if this is her second marriage in 5 years, that's not a good thing. surely better to wait and only get married once?

MikaykayUnicorn 36

You need to talk to your boyfriend about marriage OP. Stop beating around the bush with "not-so-subtle-hints," you need to ask if he wants to get married or has any plans to ever marry you, because if your ultimate goal in a relationship is marriage and his isn't, then you have two different life paths entirely. If you are old enough to settle down and get married, you're old enough to have an adult conversation about this instead of walking around it like a child.

Five years is plenty long enough to know if you want to marry your current partner. If he hasn't proposed by now, he probably isn't going to. If marriage is what you want, you should seek a partner looking for the same. Don't think of it as five wasted years, think of it as not wasting the rest of your life.

I know a couple who dated for over 10 years before they got married. the just celebrated their 25th anniversary.

chrisbeaudoin 26

Lots of people don't get married for a long time, some couples never get married even though they have kids and have been together for well over 10 years. Hopefully you can solve this without it affecting your relationship, good luck, op.

My fiancé waited six and a half years before proposing to me. It wasn't something he ever saw as important (we own our own home, we might as well be married) but he knew it was something I wanted and we both knew it would happen eventually. We had very clear communication about our expectations in the relationship which was very important.

Some couples take longer. It also depends on how old you were when you got together. One of my sisters was with her boyfriend for 3 years before they got married (they started dating when she was 24) and my other sister was with her boyfriend for 10 years before they got married (because they started dating when they were 15!)

joeyl2008 29

Maybe the guy if upset that OP hasn't proposed yet. 5 years is plenty of time to figure out if she wants to spend the rest of her life with him so she should have proposed. OP's BF is probably thinking she doesn't want marriage and is going to leave her for someone who does.

I see what you're trying to do and, yeah, it'd be nice if it was even a little bit common for women to propose to men but, let's be real, it isn't.

There's also the possibility that he wants to make sure he's financially stable first.

Marriage is not an accomplishment, it's a milestone that too many people jump the gun on. Love is a marathon, not a sprint. If it's really an issue, there's no rule saying that you yourself can't propose.

Instead of dropping hints and "basically" getting refused, why don't you actually have a conversation with your boyfriend about this? Find out what he wants, and try to come to a compromise so you won't be so upset about this.

don't rush him, just isn't ready for that commitment

2 marriages in 5 years, I'm not sure that's something to be jealous of.

If you've been with someone for 5+ years, you've already made the commitment. At this point he's just being lazy.