Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML
Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her, "goddamn fucking Cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
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Top comments
Dblocker 18
Are you sure she was only hungover?
gracehi 33
Wait! You mean New Zealand has alcohol? And alcohol in New Zealand ***** you up like anywhere else? And it's just as addictive??? NO WAY!!!
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Comments (68)
emeraldisle 30
Your mum's a great role model.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Yo momma so drunk she dun tawked to da kettle an' da kettle tole her you in twuuubblee! What am I even saying, I've no clue. Carry on guys.
dabeast15 7
Sounds like she was high to me..??
Dcm210 19
Some people have a drinking problem. Hopefully everything works in your favor.
perdix 31
Screaming at a hungover person is not nice. Screaming at a hungover person with authority over you is not smart. Your grounding ought to teach you to bow down to those who can make life miserable for you -- no matter how incompetent, stupid, unjust or drunk they are.
unknown_user5566 27
Best hangover cure? More alcohol. So I'd say she shouldn't bow down, but instead pour mom another shot should this ever happen again. Result? No unnecessary yelling/grounding, and OP can slowly sneak away as mom falls back into her happy drunken state. :)
Helldemon 32
Where does it say the OP screamed at her mother?
SApprentice 34
33- The best hangover cure? Water. The head pain is there for a reason. A person is severely dehydrated when they have those terrible hangover symptoms, and because the brain is mostly water, it shrinks and literally sucks away from the inside of the skull. All drinking more does is send you into enough of a stupor that you can no longer feel your body trying not to die.
unknown_user5566 27
46- I know. I was making a joke. I try not to be completely serious when replying to Perdix.
lmaouloser 5
Don't bring logic into this!
andrejba69 14
This is the worst because if you tried to talk to her about it she wouldn't listen
blackcherries 5
Sounds like my moma :/ , hope she isn't always like this OP. I suppose it's amusing to tell as a story but not living it, good luck!
AFEmoWifey 0
Are you sure she was not in the tripping major ballsack phase?
MrArmy 1
I'm sure your leaving out the part were you were a smart ass, and your mom was not in the mood for your shit so she grounded you.
karen1991 15
I think it was more then just a hangover..