Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walked up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then said, "Could you hold me my drink?" and went to dance with another girl. FML
Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML
Today, my wife and I had our first night without kids in 15 years, at a friend's wedding. In the middle of a song, while we were dancing, she left me to go dance with her new "gay best friends." FML
Today, we were at a wedding reception. I had to explain to my husband why it’s inappropriate for another woman to dance with her butt gyrating on his crotch. He insists it was “harmless dancing” and to stop being a “party pooper.” FML
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML
Today, I went to my husband’s work party where employees could bring a plus one. There, I met the colleague he talks so much about. She looked noticeably disappointed and said to my husband, “Wife?! You told me you were single!” We’ve been married for 7 years. FML
Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FromCFL 0
The other guys were just jealous that your husband has the balls to do what they wished they could do.
rontifu_fml 2
You could've followed him, drink lots of alcohol and spend this quality time alone with your husband, while others were busy dancing. Heh, it's free alcohol after all!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
padlarf 14
YDI for calling him hubby
fafa123_fml 0
damngit i wanted to say that
jollyjam1 2
Can you say alcoholic? Time to dump his drunken ass.
GodOfBeer 5
Can we say wanker? if he really was alcoholic, unless he's violent, then as wife she should help him and not just dump him...and after all you don't know how long they had been there before the bar opened...so **** off
anjyu22 0
A lot of alcoholics don't want help nearly as much as they want booze. You gotta get rid of a loser when you see one, you know? That said OP, you screwed up and married him, so you probably ought to give that communication thing a good ol' college try rather than bitch about it on the internet where people are just going to insult you for your choices and give you bad advice.
GodOfBeer 5
Just cause he went to the bar makes him an alcoholic? loool Never knew someone who could diagnose online from a simple FML, we should all bow to you and be your bitches. And FFS its her husband not some date, marriage is supposed to be there to support one another, not to dump the other half at the first sign of trouble - if there is trouble after all...
cr4ckb0n3f4n 0
you just picked the wrong one, try again
tisiphone_fml 0
Yup, YDI because that's who you married. Deal with it or find somebody else who suits you better.
FromCFL 0
The other guys were just jealous that your husband has the balls to do what they wished they could do.
Jimboom 11
Lol. You sir, are correct sir.
themindflayer 0
as they say wine and women make a good life ..... wine comes first .........
raidc 0
all those other husbands are gay. I'm pretty sure all my husbands friends would have been setting up a detailed plan on how o get there first
sanders924 0
What else was he going to do? it's free booze!!!
blastvortex 3
Pfft. What's so wrong with grabbing free booze? You might as well do the same.
lickmyjock 0
I usually run too those lines can be a bitch
Boudewijn 0
Your 'hubby' is a major case of Win... whine less. more wine. (xD)