Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walked up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then said, "Could you hold me my drink?" and went to dance with another girl. FML
Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML
Today, my wife and I had our first night without kids in 15 years, at a friend's wedding. In the middle of a song, while we were dancing, she left me to go dance with her new "gay best friends." FML
Today, we were at a wedding reception. I had to explain to my husband why it’s inappropriate for another woman to dance with her butt gyrating on his crotch. He insists it was “harmless dancing” and to stop being a “party pooper.” FML
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML
Today, I went to my husband’s work party where employees could bring a plus one. There, I met the colleague he talks so much about. She looked noticeably disappointed and said to my husband, “Wife?! You told me you were single!” We’ve been married for 7 years. FML
Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML
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Top comments
FromCFL 0
The other guys were just jealous that your husband has the balls to do what they wished they could do.
rontifu_fml 2
You could've followed him, drink lots of alcohol and spend this quality time alone with your husband, while others were busy dancing. Heh, it's free alcohol after all!
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Comments (77)
athame1983 0
omg lighten up you sound like a total shrew maybeeee he wanted to have a good time and enjoy himself instead of kissing your ass all day you could have joined him..... if you were the bride i mightve felt bad for you but you sound like a whiny bitch
greenltrn2003 0
did he yell "FIRST!"?
BlueJay182 0
lol @ 29. OP deserves it for spelling 'embarrassed' wrong.
Clay_man 0
It wasafter his wedding. He was probably getting something to help settle himself.
cindybuzz 5
Pfffft shoulda joined him. I know if that was me and my bloke, we'd be racin to it.
lostfaithinpppl 19
OP, stop bitching. If you don't like your husband's behavior then get rid of him. Stop complaining about your own choice of mate. It's pathetic!
splitsides 4
Wow. I love how everyone's like, "OMG FREE BOOZE! I WOULD DO THE SAME!" It's quite obvious most of the people here are teenagers or people in their early twenties. FYI, there's a time to grow up. The way her husband acted was embarrassing and pathetic. As an adult, he should really be over this phase by now.
splitsides 4
No, I don't drink, but even people I know who do still think it's quite sad to see adults going ******* crazy over alcohol.
ElMundio87 0
#36 Don't get your panties in a twist Buzz Killington
Jenny444_fml 0
I don't know but in canada its a legal age at 18 and judging by the way she said hubby which i hear a lot coming from 15-25 year olds mouth i don't think he is older than her so based on that he is still in that phase. Its other peoples preference and if he and 99% of FML commenters would run after booze let them haha Obviously you have different opinions and is the most mature here so i would not expect much from the people here (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE HERE)
sterlbott2 0
Your husband would be my hero, if he had divorced you.
FHGrif 0
I would if I was called "hubby". he is a man not a small poodle.
Emperor_Jim 0
Seriously! Who the **** refers to their spouse as a "hubby"? I thought only tabloids did that. Did you talk about it afterwords with your "gal pals"? You make me ******* sick. YDI.
nzl_fml 0
he's a keeper.
Susaluda 0
Reminds me of this: http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/song-chart-memes-men-weddings.jpg