Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the Chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML
Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML
Today, I took part in a charity run for a good cause. I'd trained for months and showed up, only to trip and fall flat on my face at the starting line. I spent the rest of the race with scraped knees and a bruised ego. FML
Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML
Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML
Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML
Today, I went for a three-mile run. I was really proud of myself until I woke up from my dream in my bed, surrounded by empty soda bottles and fast food bags. I haven't worked out in years. FML
Today, thinking I was pretty healthy, I signed up for a 5K run. I didn’t train at all, thinking, “How hard can it be?” Halfway through, I realized I was in way over my head. I ended up walking the rest of the race, and a 70-year-old man lapped me twice. To make it worse, my friends made a banner that said, “Congratulations on Not Dying!” FML
Today, I had my first day of soccer tryouts. We began with a two mile run. Trying to be honest for once, I didn't lie about my time. Everyone else did. I thus got the worst score, and had to run it again. FML
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Top comments
flufee2 27
You should know not to have chipotle before a big race... Ydi
ZY1431 24
Well, did you go faster?
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Comments (89)
gatekeeper1993 10
did you keep going?
jacob2332 9
You 100% deserved that one. If you're a cross country runner, you should know better than to eat junk food before a race. Especially some that could possibly be unsettling for you.
octopussperm125 18
Maybe everyone else will slip in it
enkeimx6 3
Time to get some Chipotle Away?
exo_went_insane 12
You can't be that good a runner if you dont know how to prepare for a run.
_mittlieder_ 18
I don't get it...?
slyde32 12
what's not to get? he had sudden diarrhea
marcranger 29
OP, I agree with everyone else who says you should've known better, but at the same time, I feel for you. I once had Chipotle before climbing a high-altitude trail, even though I know what Chipotle does to my intestines...and I also know about the concept of High Altitude Flatus Expulsions. :X I felt bad for my friend who was behind me, less bad for my ex-boyfriend who was also downwind.
worldclassrager 41
As a swimmer we usually did pasta parties you could try that next time
zeddiculus 22
Runner's trots, gotta love em.
Jaevwyn 17
"I'm a good runner" .. Eats chipotle the night before a big run, seems legit