Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today, I was suffering from some gastric distress. While on my way to a job interview, I slipped on some concrete that was wet due to a recent slight rain shower. I didn't fall. I DID shit my pants though. I walked back home slowly in shame to clean up the mess. I didn't make it to the interview. FML
Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML
Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the Chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML
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Top comments
cheezter 15
Never ever ever tell anyone about this
MyNameIsLaughter 18
I hate it when this happens! I try to drink a good amount of water and do jumping jacks, and small exercises to warm up before my runs to make sure nothing is gonna get loose on the run. Hope the next run is better OP
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Comments (50)
Matheo_fml 21
If nobody saw it it never happened... Make sure you find out why it did!
alexanderavatar 24
deadpool is ashamed of her
cheezter 15
Never ever ever tell anyone about this
KayDee29 31
It's a bit late for that one.
Murilirum 23
So far, not so good
tantanpanda 26
At least it's anonymous (as in we don't know who he is in real life).
larrena2377 26
19, that's what anonymous means.
johnrdz3 24
Awwww shit
johnny29 14
i'm so sorry op. maybe next time check more carefully what you eat and find out what caused it.
opiate_ape 10
hahaha sorry but that's terribly funny. FYL OP.
MyNameIsLaughter 18
I hate it when this happens! I try to drink a good amount of water and do jumping jacks, and small exercises to warm up before my runs to make sure nothing is gonna get loose on the run. Hope the next run is better OP
Anthonymm2 20
You should probably throw those pants out.
Arcanel 18
Bro that is some shit ! Pardon the pun. I hope no one or a very mininum amount of people saw. Don't beat yourself up too much over it sometimes shit like that just happens. Again, pardon the pun. You genuinely got sick in the middle of a jog, one time i threw up on someone's lawn while they were in the middle of grooming it, don't sweat it man.
MaeJae110814 18
Looks like you've had a shitty day.
thaqueen_fml 15
Sometimes shit literally happens.
PsychicBulwark 4
"I shit myself. But I was jogging so it makes sense." You're gross and YDI. You can stop jogging, you know. Then find a bathroom or squat in the woods.
jansdrs 19
*facepalm*
bandaidstations 28
Yeah because OP was just jogging along and thought, "I have to take a poo. You know what **** it, I'll just shit my pants and keep on truckin'" Ever think maybe it just happened without much warning and they couldn't stop it? Even if they tried to drop pants behind a bush they may have been noticed and arrested for indecency.