Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the Chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML
Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML
Today, I took part in a charity run for a good cause. I'd trained for months and showed up, only to trip and fall flat on my face at the starting line. I spent the rest of the race with scraped knees and a bruised ego. FML
Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML
Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML
Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML
Today, I went for a three-mile run. I was really proud of myself until I woke up from my dream in my bed, surrounded by empty soda bottles and fast food bags. I haven't worked out in years. FML
Today, thinking I was pretty healthy, I signed up for a 5K run. I didn’t train at all, thinking, “How hard can it be?” Halfway through, I realized I was in way over my head. I ended up walking the rest of the race, and a 70-year-old man lapped me twice. To make it worse, my friends made a banner that said, “Congratulations on Not Dying!” FML
Today, I had my first day of soccer tryouts. We began with a two mile run. Trying to be honest for once, I didn't lie about my time. Everyone else did. I thus got the worst score, and had to run it again. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
flufee2 27
You should know not to have chipotle before a big race... Ydi
ZY1431 24
Well, did you go faster?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
mister_icicle 17
This happened to someone every week in the military. Every time there's running to be done, someone somewhere will inevitably win the poop lottery. :-P
siggy_mcsigx 22
YDI for eating a massive burrito before a major athletic event! Best not to eat things like that a good 40 hours before it. Good carbs (mashed potatoes, avoid fried fries), protein such as grilled chicken (avoid fried and pork and red meat) or eggs, and water. The night before.
Omniprism 15
Sounds like you need to eat more healthy before you put your guts under pressure. Lesson learned.
TheBurdenOfLife 9
Oh shit!
poubelle572 0
In exactly one month after I turned 20, I managed to do the same four times while running. Once I was not even 400 meters away from my house.
Headcrab 29
why would you have Chipotle the day before a run
beefofwar 4
and thats why you dont eat Chipotle....eat Qdoba ;D
RayvenWhite 12
What made you think that was an awesome idea before a big run?
normal_shy_kid 14
Strangely enough whenever I run at cross-country it causes me to fart so when I run past people I crop dust them I should eat chipotle for extra strength farts
xXxLogicxXx 3
where will you be when diarrhea hits?