Today, my boyfriend of 4 years still can't get it that dry humping me and saying, "But I'm horny" in a goofy voice isn't a turn on. FML
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Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML
Today, it's the fifth time this week alone I've attempted to explain to my boyfriend that I need more than just two minutes of foreplay to get horny. He tells me he's too tired, but is apparently not too tired to receive head and then have sex afterwards. FML
Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML
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Top comments
Venomousfantum 1
Quick question. Where in the world did he get that idea? Funny thing sure but definitely weird.
JustRidingMyBike 5
You can communicate with him and let him know which ways you would like to be told "I'm horny" and what may turn you on better. It would be a better solution than simply waiting for him to figure it out. I had this chat with my girlfriend years ago and it helped us get on the same page for sex.
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Comments (35)
Venomousfantum 1
Quick question. Where in the world did he get that idea? Funny thing sure but definitely weird.
sophiehelen 32
It was probably funny the first time but I can imagine it's not funny when repeated as with many jokes
kk21days 14
Keep him around! He sounds like the kind of guy that could make you laugh when you're in a bad mood. :)
PePziNL 20
"Not now sweetheart, you know I got fired today." "But I'm hoooorney"
RinoaHeartilly 36
Someone who makes you laugh when you're down is great. Someone who is annoying and ignores your needs while just trying to get what they want is not.
JustRidingMyBike 5
You can communicate with him and let him know which ways you would like to be told "I'm horny" and what may turn you on better. It would be a better solution than simply waiting for him to figure it out. I had this chat with my girlfriend years ago and it helped us get on the same page for sex.
maikeru1979 23
YDI. if after four years you are still with this fool it is on YOU
Dave_Davington 33
This may come as a shock, but there's probably a lot more to their relationship than her boyfriend's clumsy attempts to initiate sex. Crazy, I know.
Laphog 17
Wait , what ? ****. Wish I had stumbled upon this FML years ago.
WeirdUS 29
The fact that you put up with this for four years hoping something would change is odd. If he honestly doesn't understand that is not a turn on or why it might kill the mood he ain't going to change. But if you're convinced you want to stick it out maybe you should just spray him in the mouth with bitter apple.
Cynical_1 26
You could always knee him in the balls every time he does it. If he still hasn't learned after the first few times then I'm sorry but their is no hope for him.
8313girl 28
I like how you turned him into Pavlov's dog lol
species4872 19
Maybe he should try mickey mouse voice instead.
xercister 19
I say it's time to let go. Personally, after six months I would have cut it if it still persisted. People don't change unless they want to.
species4872 19
A lot of people won't change even when they start to smell.
pjsr 32
Make your own goofy voice to respond with, 'But a goofy voice and dry humping makes me so not horny' everytime he does it.
domolovesyoshi 33
Yeah if he doesn't get it after that then there is no hope