Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML
Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML
Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML
Today, I was backpacking, and I was in a tent. It had rained all day and finally, I was dry. I settled down in my slightly damp sleeping bag. I woke up halfway through the night with a frog on my face and my feet in freezing cold water. Our tent had drifted into a frog pond. FML
Today, I went outside to feed the hedgehogs who often visit my garden. It was late in the evening and dark outside. I was walking barefoot, when I suddenly stepped on something. It felt soft and splashed apart under my foot. I looked and realized that I had stepped on a slug. FML
Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML
Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML
Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML
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Top comments
bob1124 0
Maybe they're endangered because they're too dumb to move?
Mnemic 6
Take its DNA and clone the hell out of the poor bastard. ;)
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Comments (158)
jess09_fml 0
#119, someone who researches and studies frogs, dummy. ''i was calling out and calling out to try and get noticed and helped so i can reproduce when this fat bitch who calls herself a carer stepped on me. FML''
TwistedDaydream 0
You have the coolest job ever.
rakhil11 7
121- for some reason, the fml from the frog's pov sounded really whiny in my head...fml's and fml's from alternative pov's usually aren't...anyway, that was hilarious!!! XD OP: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD good job. you could still learn something about it...?
SeaGhile 0
I thought herpetologist was for snakes?
cmac86 24
well, now we know how to preserve the species.
Luv_my_life 0
YDI for being a frog biologist.
jeniilouise 0
"Today, as a frog biologist I..." YDI.
Anteezy 7
XD
st4rbucksisevil 0
First you say it's RELATIVELY rare, then you say it's endangered. Am I the only one who can't see how something could be both?
Lawzen_Rainbow 7
YDI for collecting animals :@
Redders123 1
:( Sorry. (I like #38's assumption, tho. "Endangered cuz they're too stupid to move")
Redders123 1
oops I meant #6