Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
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Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML
Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML
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Top comments
truslide 0
LMAO must have been a hard kick to do that and even then, why the hell would you kick a cat that hard?
uhmfml 0
I don't think your child will be crawling in your bed anymore for a while... if ever.
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Comments (1184)
happygoluckyhh 0
Even if it was your cat, that is still harsh. Now that I think about it I come to see that it was probably something out of instict when you were groggy and sleepy....but you...I don't know how to explain it I guess. I hope she's ok! Awww! I forgot about her and now I am practically crying. (Not really...it's just the thought FYL...but kind-of a YDI.
medicman 0
I think I would have kept that one to yourself
gymnasty2233 0
I agree with number one. Really if not child abuse then for sure ANIMAL abuse. God must hate you. FYL and your families for having to live with you.
THE_TRUTH_HURTS 0
huahaha, I used to kick my gf's cat off the bed in a similar fashion. But u know what, if it takes a couple of injured babies to get the cat off the bed, then it was worth it!
twilightbabeee 0
Omg is she okayy!?! F ur babys lifee
P43 0
Haha
markssh 0
This place is one of the biggest haven of sheltered, narrow-minded animal lovers around. Cats get hurt worse fighting amongst themselves. By the way, you "all life is precious and you should never harm it" people: killed a squirrel and ate it when I was 8, eaten plenty of deer meat from deer killed by my father, and yes, I have kicked a kitten. Suck it. Everyone decrying the OP as an abuser: grow some balls and stop crying.
emmalspeace 0
That's what you get for kicking a cat. My did kicked my cat and my cat bit the bottom of the foot so hard it bleed a lot. Your poor daughter. She should bite your foot!
dreamsmean 3
it was never mentioned how HARD the kid hit the wall.. could have been a nudge and the kid fell backwards into the wall. and as others have said, the wall could be inches from the bed. i still think it was dumb to post this here
monicamischief 0
@ 403 you obviously can't ******* read, and aren't thinking before you post, again. it never said the girl flew ACROSS THE ******* ROOM. THE BED WAS MOST LIKELY NEXT TO THE WALL. MY BED IS. THAT WOULD TAKE VERY, VERY LITTLE FORCE TO HAVE HER HIT THE WALL. THAT WOULD BE A NUDGE INTO THE WALL. IF A WALL IS RIGHT NEXT TO THE BED, YOU DON'T NEED FORCE TO HAVE SOMEONE HIT IT. USE THE BRAIN THAT I REALLY HOPE YOU HAVE.