Intimacy: Proof

Proof

By misoranomegami - 21/06/2014 02:48 - United States

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 765

You deserved it 16 355

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Same thing different taste

By bottomdrawerraider - 17/11/2010 17:13 - United States

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 050

You deserved it 12 197

Spyware

By Anonymous - 26/06/2009 01:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 815

You deserved it 10 929

Alone time

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 14:00

Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the end, my cat jumped up on the bed, saw the movement under the blanket and immediately pounced on my downstairs, puncturing certain delicate areas with his claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 325

By djoe - 28/10/2010 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 882

You deserved it 6 314

By Heather - 26/06/2012 17:13 - United States - Newport News

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 495

You deserved it 12 738

By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 975

You deserved it 53 786

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 177

You deserved it 2 049

Banned

By Helen - 22/03/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom

Today, while showing my mum how to make a TikTok, she not only found the masturbation video I made to send to my husband while he’s away for work, she accidentally managed to post it to TikTok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 1 473

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 821

You deserved it 232

By Anonymous - 28/11/2016 06:34

Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 395

You deserved it 1 581

Juicenub 25

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:53

Hopefully the video won't shake things up.

AlwaysWatching 27

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:53

Did your mom not notice that? That would be awkward having a video of your room shown around anyway....

Comments

cpmagma 15

Saturday 21 June 2014 22:25

and the crazy cat lady begins lol

BrainStew27 12

Saturday 21 June 2014 22:41

Could have been worse. After I read the first sentence I was worried something had happened to the cat.

tuffer 3

Saturday 21 June 2014 23:15

insert pussy pun here.

jetsfan204 4

Sunday 22 June 2014 1:12

Looks like that's not the only pussy that vibrator is gonna touch!!

TyChief 8

Sunday 22 June 2014 2:03

lol kitty strikes again

drshn 22

Sunday 22 June 2014 2:37

pussy on a vibrator, well life is cyclic, I guess.

Nessco 36

Sunday 22 June 2014 3:03

This is why you must always put the toys away when you've finished with them.

NodakN8V 25

Sunday 22 June 2014 6:29

It's the "other" kind of cat toy

maggiefox 25

Sunday 22 June 2014 7:37

Facebook :)

katthompson 7

Sunday 22 June 2014 7:49

That's horrible. :( I would be so embarrassed....

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The Top

Today, as I was pulling out of the school parking lot I was blasting my music and feeling pretty awesome, I got a few honks and felt even cooler. Until some lady pulled up next to me and told me I had left my binder on the roof and all my papers were all over the road behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 190

You deserved it 44 165

Today, on my wedding day, when they said, "You may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately, my hands were sweaty as I was nervous, and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 984

You deserved it 19 769

The Top

Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 012

You deserved it 3 021

Today, while out shopping with friends, I was apphrehended by two bounty hunters because they recognized my purple-dyed hair. Too bad my name isn't Natalie, who apparently shares the same hair color. They didn't believe me, even after I showed my ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 536

You deserved it 2 470

Today, at work, our team started a new sales strategy of selling flowers to men by asking them to buy one for their lovely ladies. The first guy I ask ends up crying and telling me his wife passed away a week ago. The woman with him was actually his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 589

You deserved it 5 174

Today, my mom told me she wouldn't be able to leave my middle-aged brother at home for Christmas in order to meet her first grandchild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 390

You deserved it 884

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 931

You deserved it 2 874

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 902

You deserved it 4 440