By Helen - 22/3/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom

Banned

Today, while showing my mum how to make a TikTok, she not only found the masturbation video I made to send to my husband while he’s away for work, she accidentally managed to post it to TikTok. FML

I agree, your life sucks

611

You deserved it

1230

Tweet

Share

Alexa, play "Hey! Student" by The Fall

Face value

Fucking Facebook memories

By lateralligator - Canada - Whitchurch-stouffville

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35916

You deserved it

4573

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost my phone. On the bright side, someone found it. On the downside, they won't give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33134

You deserved it

3448

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I learned that my dad invested my entire college fund into some shady internet stock, despite my dire warnings about being careful. He told me not to worry as he'd done some research, and he guaranteed everything would be fine. Two hours later that same stock dropped almost 75%. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6935

You deserved it

406

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Iceland

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

I agree, your life sucks

43196

You deserved it

4166

Tweet

Share

By ThanksMom - United States

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks

104332

You deserved it

9155

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/1/2021 16:58

Let people believe

Today, I told a friend I had become more religious lately. He immediately started mocking me for being a 'stupid creationist bigot'. When I told him how offensive that was, he acted bewildered and started condescendingly lecturing me about how 'science has proven God does not exist'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

788

You deserved it

699

Tweet

Share

By Cora - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. His response was, "Thank god, finally." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31688

You deserved it

9056

Tweet

Share

By Crispy - United States

Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17193

You deserved it

46008

Tweet

Share

By Ansharus - Belgium - Londerzeel

Today, I noticed I'd lost my wedding ring after returning home from a long, tiring day of painting our newly purchased home. After driving back and forth to the house for more than an hour to go looking for it, I found it tucked away in my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11748

You deserved it

3993

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, I got cited for "internet plagiarism" and called to the dean's office. I'd been sitting a closed-book written exam, and my teacher had been breathing down my neck the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44818

You deserved it

4194

Tweet

Share

By idk - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I was getting ready to go out with my family. As I was putting my phone in my purse, my father told me I wouldn't need it because we were going to spend 'quality time' together. The entire time I was there, everyone was staring at their phone. I was the only one without one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25912

You deserved it

2774

Tweet

Share

By lollipopp56 - Canada

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

148924

You deserved it

13757

Tweet

Share

By ...

Today, I finally had an interview for my dream job. It was all going great until I started chuckling uncontrollably, snorted like a pig and hit the guy with the world's largest snot rocket. All I could do was slip out the door as he sat paralysed with shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2248

You deserved it

507

Tweet

Share

By backstabbed - Australia

Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML

I agree, your life sucks

42442

You deserved it

3084

Tweet

Share

By Wilhelm - Philippines - Makati

Today, I heard water dripping at the back of our house. I went to investigate, only to find a man peeing on our garden gnome. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15794

You deserved it

1481

Tweet

Share

By BlackRavenWings - United States

Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patients room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks

9888

You deserved it

35556

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Helena

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30754

You deserved it

3334

Tweet

Share

By crap - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40866

You deserved it

3215

Tweet

Share

By mack - Canada

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26670

You deserved it

7106

Tweet

Share

By littlespoon - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27362

You deserved it

3537

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - The Hyde

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36214

You deserved it

3517

Tweet

Share

By whattalife - United States

Today, out of sheer boredom, I took a career personality test. The "best match" for me was the position of funeral director. Not only do I have a promising future with death, I got genuinely excited at how accurate the result was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24337

You deserved it

5036

Tweet

Share

By 44haley44 - United States

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23624

You deserved it

57048

Tweet

Share

By obnum - United States - New York

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39094

You deserved it

45743

Tweet

Share

By scarredforlife - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23234

You deserved it

1813

Tweet

Share

By LaurenB - United States - Epping

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36395

You deserved it

5256

Tweet

Share

By shit - United States

Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32906

You deserved it

13720

Tweet

Share

By Entheatus - Canada

Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53419

You deserved it

21975

Tweet

Share

By Amy (grossed out) - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we ran the Skype call all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43499

You deserved it

6010

Tweet

Share

By The fat and the ugly - Finland

Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

41959

You deserved it

5115

Tweet

Share

By shitless88 - United States

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32759

You deserved it

4242

Tweet

Share

By dollfacee - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27547

You deserved it

2331

Tweet

Share

By experience_to_get_experience - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I turned 25. I'm single, still living at home and doing an unpaid internship in an industry I have no interest in, because it was the only accepted application after 6 months of unemployment. The daily 45-minute drive means I'm losing money every week for being "employed" with a PhD. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24307

You deserved it

3013

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/1/2021 02:30 - United States - Pittsburgh

How could you?

Today, I saw the Steelers throw the game to the Browns. I get it, you don't want to go to the Superbowl, but could you try being more realistic than staged wrestling? FML

I agree, your life sucks

260

You deserved it

655

Tweet

Share

By evil - United States

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43898

You deserved it

4368

Tweet

Share

By ugh - Canada - Mississauga

Somebody's watching me

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31238

You deserved it

9167

Tweet

Share

By anon - United States

Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36760

You deserved it

7248

Tweet

Share

By Margaret

Today, I saw some random iTunes charge on my bank account so I called who I thought was iTunes customer support to figure out the $5 charge, then got scammed into buying $1,400 worth of gift cards. The man on the phone was not with iTunes and took all my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1079

You deserved it

5387

Tweet

Share

By Confused - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33586

You deserved it

4377

Tweet

Share

By cman - Romania

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30009

You deserved it

3114

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By ojoRojo | 27

#7980439 - Monday 22 March 2021 8:59

Yeahhh you probably should’ve taught her using HER phone/tablet/computer, especially if you knew you had that video on yours.

By alex_jaguara | 29

#7980526 - Monday 22 March 2021 16:27

Ok, now give us the link.

COMMENTS

By ojoRojo | 27

#7980439 - Monday 22 March 2021 8:59

Yeahhh you probably should’ve taught her using HER phone/tablet/computer, especially if you knew you had that video on yours.

Reply

rainbowdonnareed | 17

#7980476 - Monday 22 March 2021 11:42

So true

By Jonkbaby | 20

#7980470 - Monday 22 March 2021 10:53

NIIIICE!!!

By alex_jaguara | 29

#7980526 - Monday 22 March 2021 16:27

Ok, now give us the link.

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7980552 - Monday 22 March 2021 17:54

That shit's on you. If you're going to do something like that, film it, send it, then delete it on your end.

By Reggie89 | 2

#7980687 - Tuesday 23 March 2021 1:51

It would have been better to hide that video in a hidden folder on your phone. Hopefully that didn't hurt your marriage after that.

By Glitterbaby2613 | 18

#7980689 - Tuesday 23 March 2021 1:56

sorry but just delete it

By core01 | 30

#7980693 - Tuesday 23 March 2021 2:12

I'm only clicking YDI because you handed your mom your phone with that video in an unsecure folder. FYL on the upload tho

By Matt Steele | 10

#7980893 - Tuesday 23 March 2021 22:13

what's the worst that can happen get muted for a few days ?

By Doomthebloom | 4

#7982396 - Tuesday 30 March 2021 15:14

She did it on porpoises you don't just do that on accident