Today, after picking up my 6 year-old from school, he said, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me. We got home, I looked up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in junior high. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML
Today, I got my ass beat by some kid in my grade. The reason I was targeted? The superintendent, aka my idiot father, suspended him for defending himself in another fight. The kid told me it's not personal, he needed to prove a point that our school doesn't do shit about bullying, As much as I agree with him… FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, my 14 year-old got a 5-day suspension for fighting. He stood up for an 7th grader who was getting picked on. While the poor kid was eating lunch, they were messing with him when my son stepped in. There were some words said, then a fight. He feels terrible for fighting but I think he was in the right. FML
Today, my idiot son has been getting his ass kicked nearly every day since he spread a rumor that he’d been sleeping with the most popular girl in school. Not only is she the wrestling coach’s daughter, her brothers are all massive jocks. Even though he apologized the beatings keep coming. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, my son warned me that unless I get his older brother to stop picking on him, he’d do it himself. I didn’t take it seriously, until I got home from work to find he'd had beaten his brother unconscious. His justification was that he's warned me he’d "do it himself.“ FML
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Top comments
Casualt1234 0
like father like son.... once an asshole, always an asshole...
Nakedsquirrel 5
Tell your son to tell Drew that you can make his dad have an "accident" or disappear under mysterious circumstances.
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Comments (94)
Escapist28 0
Well, I guess your kid knows who the better dad is now, doesn't he? And this is on the wrong FML?
Casualt1234 0
lol yeah same thing happened to me (#2)
banana_pancakesX 0
i am so confused. wtf does this fml have to do with Family Guy ringtones? o.o
Person1233 13
FML screwed up o_o It keeps switching between one where this guy had the ringtone of Quagmire saying "Giggity giggity lets have sex!" and the one with some kid named Drew.
nuttinick 0
ydi. put it on ******* vibrate.
Khiash 6
The two FMLs are: Today after picking up my 6 yr old from school, he says "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML and Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend's family. I had been perfectly polite and everything was going along smooth, until my phone rang on high volume. The ringtone? Quagmire from Family Guy's signature line, "Giggidy Giggidy Giggidy, Let's have sex!" FML
waterynuggets 0
Don't know if this is more lame or fake.
Arcterion 0
YDI for having a shitty ringtone and watching that lame-ass show in the first place.
katsoplat 0
first
_YDI 0
YDI for being a pussy
DameGreyWulf 1
This is a crappy FML, really... I mean, he beat you up in the past, so what? I beat plenty of people up, and I'm a girl. If they get as whiney about it as you, I hope I never meet them again. That's just damned sad.
DameGreyWulf 1
FML SWITCH! Obviously this comment is meant for the one about Drew. Oddly, it still shows up as that on the page, but the title bar and the front page say it's the Family Guy one. For the Family Guy one... again, who cares? It's a show reference.
BuffaloX7 0
YDI big time for even watching Family Guy.