Intimacy: Out in the wild

Out in the wild

By Welpthatwasfast - 10/06/2016 07:57

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 438

You deserved it 2 158

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By liveforpeace_ - 28/04/2009 06:27 - Canada

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235 377

You deserved it 13 595

I know where I'm going

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 644

I'm just saying…

By dirty boy - 05/07/2021 11:00

Today, what started as an amazing day with hiking, a picnic, more hiking, then a romantic nature walk, ended in a ridiculous screaming match between me and my boyfriend. I only asked him to shower before laying in our bed when we got home, since we were covered in sweat, bug bites and dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 121

City slicker

By Anonymous - 01/03/2022 22:00

Today, my new boyfriend is such a city boy he couldn’t handle one night of pretend camping in the garden. Apparently, it was too cold, he ran out of Diet Coke, and just generally got bored, so he went back inside to watch TV in bed, but sure, he wants to hike in the mountains with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 194

By -_- - 28/07/2013 22:58 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 762

You deserved it 7 543

By kanmcdan - 22/04/2019 00:00

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a Snowshoeing date. I felt sick and suggested we turn back. He said I could wait in the car and continued on the date alone. He was gone for hours, while I was stuck alone in a national park with no cell reception, food, or water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 407

By anonymous - 14/07/2012 05:06 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 520

You deserved it 9 893

By not even a sexy bushfire - 25/10/2012 16:27 - Australia - Kelmscott

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 792

You deserved it 2 483

City boy

By Anonymous - 10/01/2024 00:00 - Switzerland

Today, I walked 30 minutes with my new boyfriend from my chalet to the local supermarket, cutting through the woods. It was dark, but the moon shone bright and we had torches. He was so scared, he startled at every noise and even cried. When we got to town, he dumped me, and left on the next train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 149

By AnnoyedWoman - 17/08/2014 10:19 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 444

You deserved it 5 595

Tripartita 44

Sunday 7 August 2016 3:15

Then a nearby game of hide and seek breaks out, adding to the confusion when the seeker shouts, "ready or not, here I come!"

Weymere 11

Sunday 7 August 2016 3:01

That sounds like a rocky start to a good time

Comments

Phatburger 4

Sunday 7 August 2016 4:47

try a desert next time

sherri_baby88 36

Sunday 7 August 2016 5:03

And get sand in her nether regions besides what would probably be another lackluster romp? OP should take a hard pass, thanks.

cootiequeen4444 11

Sunday 7 August 2016 7:25

I feel it would be easier to hide in a rock formation than a desert. lots of flat barren land in deserts.

hilamonster06 21

Sunday 7 August 2016 6:00

Their is no such thing as premature ejaculation, when it's time it's time.

SpyroMello 29

Sunday 7 August 2016 6:43

OP, you're lucky you can even get him to finish. My boyfriend gets anxious about someone coming home that he can't finish and sometimes he refuses to even have sex.

chosha_fml 26

Sunday 7 August 2016 20:00

#19 Which makes me wonder if he actually came so quickly because he was excited about the outdoor sex, not paranoid.

LiamColee 13

Sunday 7 August 2016 8:13

my thoughts while reading this: ok, shes talking about sex - nope just some quality outdoor fun - nope, it was sex - poor dude - i should right a comment about my thoughts.

ABlindMan 17

Sunday 7 August 2016 23:41

Or save everyone the hassle of having to downvote your comment into oblivion and maybe don't post your thoughts as you read the FML? It's a comment section, not a thought transcribing section.

Tsukiyomi 16

Sunday 7 August 2016 11:50

Sucks to be you Sucks to be him **** your life **** his life Ahahahahahahahaha your misfortune is like love to me

amadmanwithabox 4

Sunday 7 August 2016 15:23

being paranoid would do the opposite to me

tylance 3

Sunday 7 August 2016 15:59

gosh. i would have taken my sweet ass time. i try to get my wife to do things like this, but no go. very sad

tntscl 4

Sunday 7 August 2016 16:42

Best 20 seconds of your life

Love_L0ST 13

Sunday 7 August 2016 19:29

I have never had the pleasure of knowing what it feels like to finish so fast any new relationships I have I get to nervous my very first time was 5 hours and I still didn't finish