By anonymous - 14/07/2012 05:06 - United States - Columbus

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 392
You deserved it 9 844

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Could almost say, he is a "shirty" boyfriend. Yep, I suck that much at puns.

A public park is never a good place to let things "get heavy."

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Could almost say, he is a "shirty" boyfriend. Yep, I suck that much at puns.

G for G'day mate!

1- Your profile picture and your username fits your comment perfectly. Although I did find the pun humorous.

F for Fucking awesome :D

T for This comment has nothing to do with this FML

T for Troll Only Potterheads will get this... Will they?

Why didn't you run after him?

Why does your bio say message you when that's not possible..?

Zine why are you trying to message a 13 year old when your 20?

He is simply attracted to the female photo. Pedo?

15 - does your CO know you're trying to contact minors on the internet?

Wasn't aware that adults couldn't even TALK to minors anymore without "subtly" being accused of being a pedophile... Geez people, paranoid much? On-topic: I'm guessing OP didn't want to get up and be half naked in the light of that flash light

Also, even if he was sexually attracted to her that would not make him a pedophile, a pedophile is a person who is attracted to pre-pubescent children who have not developed yet, not just anyone under 18 years of age.

No actually, a profile can be someone over the age of 18 sexually attracted to someone under the age of 18. Put at least 5 years inbetween then it's a pedo.

*pedophile* ~ profile

There are actually different classifications depending on the age group. If he was attracted to a 13 year old, it would be called hebephilia. Pedophilia is if he's attracted to someone 11 or under. Dunno why I decided to put this; guess I just wanted to enlighten.

regardless if it's pedophile, it's still ILLEGAL

Damn 41, I will have to inform my mom she is with a pedophile for being with someone more than 5 years older than her... As much as I don't wanna jump to conclusions, it IS a little weird he is trying to get a hold of a 13 yr old that he doesnt even know over the internet. But, being a gamer who talks to people of all ages, all over the world, I will give him the benefit of the doubt, with the warning of, don't meet this guy, or anyone you meet on the internet, alone, in person, in a dark alley.

It's only 5 years if you are under 18 and it varies depending on where you are

this guy is 20 and she's 13.... more than 5 years!

Ready your Justin Bieber jokes for a list of chronophilia-related terms: nepiophilia–infants and toddlers pedophilia–prepubescent children hebephilia–early adolescents ephebophilia–late adolescents teleiophilia–full-grown adults gerontophilia–elderly people And people say it's useless to know ancient Greek.

I love your name :)

Froze like a deer in the headlights

You forgot the last stage — necrophilia.

Prince charming huh......

Yeah really, more like Prince I'm a lil Wuss haha

A public park is never a good place to let things "get heavy."

Firstly, it's called a 'PUBLIC park'

What's secondly?

26 - No shit, Sherlock.

maybe they thought it was a pubic park.

There was another FML where some parents took their kid to a bench at a public park and said "this is where you were conceived". Apparently it was good enough for some people!

if you know what you doing it

I wonder if OP's aware they have these nifty things called bedrooms for that kinda thing, so people with torches don't interrupt...?

Ah lighten up. Where's your sense of fun? They were clearly alone at least

run for ur LIFEEEEEE !!!

Well if she got her hands on the bra it might've been easier for the guy to explain why he was holding a shirt.

Souvenirs. You gotta have them..

Use a nearby leaf. Eve did it stop Adam looking, so it could work. Or you could claim you're a nudist.

Well half nudist anyway - it could work ... Saying she is a beginner. :P

Yeah. She's just working up the courage so she's a half nudist when no people are around. And if the one who found them was a guy I'm sure he'd like the view! Lol.

just act like its your house and he's in the wrong for being on your property, and that your ex boyfriend is jealous and has gone for his shotgun. I'm pretty sure that will invoke an armed response manhunt for him. this serves 2 purposes, 1) attention off you as you become a "victim" 2) your future boyfriends will NEVER ditch you. of course it also makes for a good story which makes you look crazy..but if he wasn't running before he soon would be lol.

I wish my house's property encompassed the whole public park.

Well, it does when you are a squirrel. Maybe there's something OP didn't tell us...

You can have alll my clothes n undergarments ;-)

Ummmm no thanks ... I'm okay :0

I'll take them. *-* LOL jk.

you like being nude dont you..nice ;-)

Did you make a run for it too? Your boy friend is a coward for leaving you there. He should have at least tried to protect you by confronting the person with the flashlight.