By FML Videos - United States - New York System Failure Malfunction - the system is down! 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I traveled to my hometown for a funeral. I'm staying with my family in the house I grew up in. My dad told me they'd "completely renovated" the house. There's still only one bathroom for the seven of us and I'm sleeping on the floor for the entire two weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 4020 You deserved it 392 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, one of my friends came over to go swimming in my pool. Before going back into the house, as it's all carpeted, I automatically took off my trunks, forgetting about my friend. I realized my mistake when my friend commented on my abnormally long foreskin. FML I agree, your life sucks 1076 You deserved it 1215 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hashtag beard life - 12/10/2020 17:01 - United States Assumption Day Today, my 5-year-old daughter said she, “hates daddy’s kisses because they feel funny.” My extended family freaked out and assumed the worse. My husband has recently grown a beard and my daughter hates how scratchy it feels. He’s not a monster but they still treat us weird now. FML I agree, your life sucks 1203 You deserved it 55 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tattooooooface - United States Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML I agree, your life sucks 15496 You deserved it 39593 243 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DefinitelyNotMyMeds - Canada Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML I agree, your life sucks 1949 You deserved it 279 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By still on hol - United Kingdom - Harlow Today, I've spent far too long on hold to Apple customer support. Unfortunately the only thing to come from it is I now have "Call me maybe" stuck in my head. FML I agree, your life sucks 28580 You deserved it 3452 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By igiveup - Australia - Sydney Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML I agree, your life sucks 41880 You deserved it 3898 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 1234567898765432 - Canada Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML I agree, your life sucks 113017 You deserved it 6057 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nasty - United States Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was covered in my husband's pubes. FML I agree, your life sucks 34192 You deserved it 11525 257 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ryanharp2 - United States - Conway Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML I agree, your life sucks 7681 You deserved it 42834 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By filipkm - Slovenia - Ljubljana Today, I heard on television that a body was found in my city's water reservoir. Word is that it was dead for over a week. I've been drinking and showering with that water. FML I agree, your life sucks 14339 Phew, glad it wasn't me 2772 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By slugitha - United States Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML I agree, your life sucks 19321 You deserved it 1829 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ToysforHire Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML I agree, your life sucks 2413 You deserved it 7405 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By overexcited - United States Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML I agree, your life sucks 15979 You deserved it 38432 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ninja breakup? Today, my boyfriend of six years came home wearing a ninja suit. When I asked why, he said "These are my breakup clothes. I'm breaking up with you." He then screamed, threw a plastic shuriken at me and ran away. It hit me in the breast. FML I agree, your life sucks 3505 You deserved it 331 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sad-boing - United Kingdom - Dartford Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML I agree, your life sucks 24794 You deserved it 6823 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Juliet - United States - Inglewood Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML I agree, your life sucks 50327 You deserved it 6510 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wendtinmypants - United States - Omaha Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML I agree, your life sucks 49810 You deserved it 9175 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohhhjaymo13 - United States Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML I agree, your life sucks 29577 You deserved it 3345 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MrSlav - 12/11/2020 17:57 - Lithuania - Siauliai Litter Today, I rubbed my heel raw with a new shoe, so I put a bandaid on and went to the pool. A few minutes later, I noticed the bandaid floating close to me. I'm not an ass so I quickly fished it out and put in the pocket of my swimming trunks. Later, I went to shower and noticed that my bandaid was still on my heel. FML I agree, your life sucks 1041 You deserved it 138 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML I agree, your life sucks 12842 You deserved it 39910 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By VahnSeiro - United States Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 32268 You deserved it 2716 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By phonegotlostinthepark - New Zealand - Auckland Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML I agree, your life sucks 51092 You deserved it 4126 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug - United States - Santa Cruz Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML I agree, your life sucks 41246 You deserved it 4796 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hotdamn - United States - San Francisco Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML I agree, your life sucks 22951 You deserved it 3114 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thesparrow - United States Today, the girl whom I have loved for 4 years told me that she loved me too and would like to spend her life with me. This was before she told me that God did not want us to be together. FML I agree, your life sucks 35435 You deserved it 2361 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML I agree, your life sucks 36962 You deserved it 3952 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thedd - United States Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML I agree, your life sucks 54013 You deserved it 3865 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chicochico - France Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML I agree, your life sucks 58121 You deserved it 7008 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jackelking - United States Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML I agree, your life sucks 61913 You deserved it 6893 203 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sincerely depressed. - United States - Fremont Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML I agree, your life sucks 7810 You deserved it 40282 197 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/9/2020 02:02 Empathy hurts Today, my brother-in-law's wife said she won the jackpot by marrying into our family. What she doesn't know is that they make fun of her family behind her back, and her husband has no drive or focus in life. Now I get to watch her discover how crazy they really are. FML I agree, your life sucks 1094 You deserved it 187 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ...thanks honey - United States Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML I agree, your life sucks 54353 You deserved it 14972 296 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By owowowow - Canada Today, I found out how much it hurts to be shot with a paintball in your open mouth. My mouth was only open to say I was hit. FML I agree, your life sucks 35031 You deserved it 7569 206 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By got got - 30/1/2020 14:00 Great help Today, I just moved in with my friend and had my brother help with the move. Later that night both my brother and my friend wouldn't let me sleep because of how loud the sex was. FML I agree, your life sucks 2176 You deserved it 283 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Agata - United States Today, my boyfriend of 3 years announced that he is not ready for marriage, and won’t be for 'at least' another 2 years. Of course he waited to tell me this 2 days after he had proposed to me in front of hundreds of people, I said yes, and we announced it to all our family members and friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 33115 You deserved it 2844 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML I agree, your life sucks 18545 You deserved it 47226 528 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Shelle - Canada - Vancouver Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML I agree, your life sucks 34999 You deserved it 2747 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By beta Today, my date unexpectedly brought her friend to dinner with us. They seemed bored of me after ten minutes and left me out of their conversation for the rest of the night. Oh, and they made me pay for both of them. FML I agree, your life sucks 2916 You deserved it 808 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DDD - France Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML I agree, your life sucks 21299 You deserved it 66572 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Charlie Given | 23 #7723013 - Wednesday 14 November 2018 3:01 Danger Will Robinson Do😂 Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Charlie Given | 23 #7723014 - Wednesday 14 November 2018 3:02 Danger Will Robinson Danger 😂 Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Charlie Given | 23 #7723013 - Wednesday 14 November 2018 3:01 Danger Will Robinson Do😂 Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Charlie Given | 23 #7723014 - Wednesday 14 November 2018 3:02 Danger Will Robinson Danger 😂 Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 525 You deserved it 123 7 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 1005 You deserved it 51 6 Comments