Love: Ouch! - FML

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 961

You deserved it 5 269

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 104

You deserved it 41 479

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 4 531

By nosleep - 05/02/2011 00:05 - Australia

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 230

You deserved it 6 973

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 959

You deserved it 12 160

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 801

You deserved it 35 996

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 127

Sleep punching is a thing

By Anonymous - 13/09/2021 02:00

Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 101

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 440

You deserved it 805

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 708

You deserved it 880

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 385

Next

Top comments

Zenma 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 9:31

I smell win(d).

allmidnighteyes 10

Wednesday 30 September 2009 9:35

What... the ****?

Comments

Queenbea27 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 1:24

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

frickish 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 1:33

'today in the middle of the night' do you even look at what you write?

sugar_407 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 1:45

they all start with "today" can't change that.

elizanena9 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 1:34

ha! that's funny. i could totally picture that. lol. :)

roxxy329 4

Thursday 1 October 2009 3:04

haha. That must of sucked but its funny as hell:)

yetrs 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 3:39

LOL

itsover_9000 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 4:14

I agree, that's just fricken hilarious..sucks for your face though

Crunchy08 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 6:05

haha. that's funny!

Ninjaface 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 7:09

You're lucky to have such a caring girlfriend. I mean, she attempted to break your nose just so you wouldn't have to smell her fart! Talk about going the extra mile.

Gruffy 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 8:55

ROFL....I'm sure that'll help him sleep at night!

Witchcraft_fml 4

Saturday 3 October 2009 9:40

It's the sweetest thing I've ever heard, for sure.

briiittxxhc 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 7:13

Lol, omg that still has me laughing and probably will for a while!

Gruffy 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 7:58

OMFG!! that's prolly the funniest damn thing ive ever heard! sux 2 be u, but DAMN that's funny

4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Family Kids Fight Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Love Relationship advice Social Media Art Work Students Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception

The Top

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 66

Today, I was crying after a bad day at work. As I walked down the street, a young boy in a minivan tried to get my attention. He kept saying, "Hi, hi, please wave!" in a sad voice. When I politely waved at him, I saw a group of kids in the van giggling hysterically and taking pictures of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 286

You deserved it 285

The Top

Today, after telling a friend I was contemplating asking a girl to prom, my friend took my phone, told me to have some balls, and texted the girl asking her to prom. She said no, because I asked her over text instead of in person. She refuses to believe I didn't send the text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 648

You deserved it 1 926

Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 678

You deserved it 303

Today, I found out that my shower area is in direct view from my neighbours' balcony. I realised this when I caught my neighbour and his wife watching me while I was getting dressed. I've been living here for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 539

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 865

You deserved it 4 479

Today, I accidentally left the handbrake off in my car, got out, locked it, and started walking away. Then I heard a loud noise and looked over my shoulder and the car was gone. Of course, it hit the only other car parked in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 928

Today, I have a huge scab on my thigh. What from? My thighs rubbing together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 235

You deserved it 33 151