Money and Love: Old habits die hard - FML

Old habits die hard

By atsukobo - 10/03/2012 06:04 - United States

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 665

You deserved it 4 830

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Same thing different taste

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 806

You deserved it 3 846

Jerk

By Innocence - 13/02/2015 17:33 - United States - Amelia

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 108

You deserved it 3 538

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 14:49 - United States

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 657

You deserved it 3 063

By nosleep - 05/02/2011 00:05 - Australia

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 231

You deserved it 6 973

Fart are funny, period

By amg85904 - 30/01/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 896

You deserved it 6 587

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 677

You deserved it 2 371

When you're in a dream…

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 01:40 - United States

Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 012

You deserved it 3 091

By Shameonme - 26/10/2008 16:04 - Morocco

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 579

You deserved it 61 130

Nice Dream

By Better seamstress than mistress - 12/05/2021 19:59

Today, I dreamt that the fabric and pattern I was working on were sliding off the table so I quickly reached to grab it, effectively driving my fingers into my husband's eyes. Fuck his life too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 97

By Ladycakes - 04/06/2012 10:13 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 829

You deserved it 6 913

Next

Top comments

whitedw 0

Saturday 10 March 2012 11:51

lol......well at least he didnt yell some other girl's name but still fyl

indoorsy 3

Saturday 10 March 2012 12:05

Now I anin't saying she's a gold digger...

Comments

catatonicsleep 17

Saturday 10 March 2012 13:06

He talked in his sleep thats not bad, many people talk in their sleep, you can't take what someone says in their sleep personally...

neverdrinkSODA 12

Saturday 10 March 2012 13:31

leave the man's money alone!!

Sumo69 9

Saturday 10 March 2012 13:32

That's not a dream that's a reflex

cuddlebunny3548 11

Saturday 10 March 2012 13:39

Maybe he meant his money maker :P

MargieDrury 1

Saturday 10 March 2012 13:46

Whaaat thee ****!?!

j_cat187 19

Saturday 10 March 2012 16:16

*the *what

MargieDrury 1

Saturday 10 March 2012 16:32

Actually, it was supposed to long and drawn out "what the ****". Petty ass.

GoWithTheFro 10

Saturday 10 March 2012 18:11

I have to say Margie, you just made yourself look retarded.

MargieDrury 1

Saturday 10 March 2012 20:11

Confused.

thisbitchlys 0

Saturday 10 March 2012 13:49

your life doesnt need to be ******, its not that bad.

Aoifexzx 3

Saturday 10 March 2012 13:52

I fail to see how this is an FML.

Spanika87 0

Saturday 10 March 2012 15:13

Couldn't agree more! More like she has a guilty conscience for spending his money... What he said I'm his dream could of meant anything.

godlike1 5

Saturday 10 March 2012 13:54

It is quite possible this is so.

firefighterjohn 9

Saturday 10 March 2012 13:57

I don't see what's so wrong about this. he was dreaming. he can't control what he dreams. maybe he was having a dream that he was rich and you were someone trying to steal his money. worst fml submitting ever

Angieboo227 0

Saturday 10 March 2012 14:23

Lmao that's hilarious

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The Top

Today, my ex asked me to return a sweater he'd gifted me back in the day. He didn’t even thank me, just said he’d catch me at lunch but never did. Work was tedious yet even then I didn’t leave without shooting him a goodbye text, only for him to say, “Oh my bad, I already left.” I still love him but it’s clearly one-sided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 588

Today, and for weeks now, I was sure my underwear was going missing. I found out why. My husband's brother has been stealing them whenever he visits, presumably to masturbate with. I literally caught him shoving an unwashed pair into his pocket he'd stolen from my laundry pile. Creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 61

The Top

Today, a girl I've been casually seeing just gave me the, "You're a great guy, but I'm not ready for a relationship" speech. A few hours later, I see a video in a group chat of her making out and laughing with another guy, while my other friends just watched and laughed. I'm just done trying, why am I always getting shit on? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 302

Today, my eight-year-old brother told his classmates that I have cancer. Nope, just really bad acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 742

You deserved it 2 655

Today, I knew it was going to be a fun day when I woke up to find that my kids' new puppy had died in the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 883

You deserved it 116

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 298

You deserved it 11 164

Today, tears and 3 hours on the toilet have made me reevaluate my desire for new culinary experiences. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 902

You deserved it 2 809

Today, I told my neighbor that I was going to Réunion Island on vacation in a few months. She said that she'd always wanted to go there. As a light-hearted joke, I said she should come with me. She's now booked a plane ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 647

You deserved it 22 738