Transportation: Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 5

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 103

Spicy

Spicy

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 31

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 112

02/03/2009 18:52

Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 493

You deserved it 7 584

BO Central

Triage

Good kid

07/05/2013 07:29

Spicy

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 057

You deserved it 13 419

29/03/2012 06:33

Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 445

You deserved it 27 515

08/04/2015 14:43

Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 956

You deserved it 2 268

24/12/2011 02:24

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 973

You deserved it 3 675

02/08/2009 06:10

Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident, when my dad came to pick me up instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when he went to the hospital while I clutched my arm in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 724

You deserved it 4 124

28/01/2009 15:12

Spicy

Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 270

You deserved it 4 049

30/11/2011 11:17

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 800

You deserved it 6 034

02/10/2014 23:51

Today, it's my birthday. I've spent most of it apologizing to my parents for the "hassle" of "having" to arrange a simple birthday dinner. Sorry I was born, guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 199

You deserved it 3 247

You tried

By Anonymous - 17/08/2021 05:01

Today, after thinking my crush maybe liked me back, I confessed. He didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 81

She's got it going on!

By Heartbroken - 08/08/2018 07:00

Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 349

You deserved it 209

24/12/2009 05:31

Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 806

You deserved it 3 394

22/02/2012 16:47

Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 187

You deserved it 44 927

Parked, indefinitely

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 04:00

Today, my mom told me I wouldn't be able to take driver's education until at least my sixteenth birthday, because I'm, "Not ready to drive a car." Isn't that the whole point of driver's ed? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 353

Generosity

By Anonymous - 22/08/2020 20:04

Today, my granny died. My aunt wants to throw away all her books and furniture. When I offered to take care of selling it, or giving it away, like granny would have wanted, my aunt said she would let me "keep a percentage" of the few bucks I’d get for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 109

29/11/2017 19:00

Today, I spent hours hand-painting an awesome design on a gift for a friend. My husband was supposed to assemble it when I finished, but when I stepped back to admire my work, he informed me that the whole thing was sideways. He watched me paint it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 189

You deserved it 429

29/06/2014 23:14

Spicy

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 145

You deserved it 17 496

07/02/2012 15:07

Today, at my internship, I was told we were going to do something fun. I was excited, until I found out that this "fun" thing was labeling 500 folders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 087

You deserved it 3 619

11/06/2011 14:24

Spicy

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 175

You deserved it 7 443

20/05/2009 17:36

Today, I spent two hours making dinner for my boyfriend's family. When I brought it over to their house they said "thanks" and didn't bother to invite me to stay to eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 153

You deserved it 4 570

16/01/2009 08:34

Spicy

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 746

You deserved it 41 725

25/08/2016 15:28

Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 721

You deserved it 1 780

Entitled

By anonymous - 14/11/2020 06:57

Today, where I work at a pharmacy, we were short staffed and running 4 hours behind. A lady came to drop off a new prescription. When I explained to her the wait time, she called the patient. I heard ,"No, they don't look busy." Like, really? FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 64

30/01/2017 23:00

Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 769

You deserved it 873

05/01/2010 17:28

Today, I had a promo code for a free Redbox movie. Since I knew exactly which movie I wanted, I parked in a handicapped space because it was super close and I was cold. I didn't think anyone would notice, but apparently the cop that parked beside my car did. My free movie cost me $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 994

You deserved it 78 541

22/07/2013 02:35

Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 561

You deserved it 4 047

Exposure

By Anonymous - 14/02/2012 05:24

Spicy

Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 190

You deserved it 13 839

16/11/2011 05:11

Today, I had an anxiety attack because I thought I'd lost my anxiety medication. It ended up being on the shelf right where I left it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 127

You deserved it 10 315

Douchebag Alert!

By amy - 02/04/2018 09:00

Today, my brother bragged about the number of break-up texts he sent this week while driving. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he was dating 3 girls, that he broke up with them over text, that he was texting and driving, or that he's proud of his actions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 594

You deserved it 277

23/06/2015 15:57

Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 191

You deserved it 2 196

31/05/2019 12:00

Today, I proposed to the girl I have known for a while, since our Dads have worked together for 40 years. After I rang my Dad to tell him the good news, he told me that there was a position open at work, which had belonged to her Dad. My Dad had to fire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 110

02/06/2009 15:33

Today, my new subletter moved in. Within 6 hours one of my cats took a dump on her pants. I freaked out, lit some candles to hide the smell and threw her pants in the washer. When the cycle was done I found her cell phone at the bottom of the washing machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 922

You deserved it 25 568

29/07/2010 19:10

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth out. My mom didn't get my prescription for painkillers because she thought I'd get addicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 688

You deserved it 3 749

23/01/2009 08:24

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 804

You deserved it 5 156

31/03/2016 23:48

Today, I took a two-hour bus ride to get to orientation, got stuck a block away because the pedestrian sidewalk was closed, waited half-an-hour for my ride in the rain, when someone called the cops on me for acting suspicious. I got to the interview soaking wet, and they told me they'd rescheduled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 807

You deserved it 1 327

08/04/2011 16:25

Today, I discovered that not only is my live-in mother-in-law a fan of Lady Gaga, she dances around the house naked to fully embrace the music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 018

You deserved it 3 969

27/07/2016 15:24

Today, my mom grabbed my phone, said she was taking it because I'd been disrespectful, and hung up my call. I'd been speaking with a work client. This is the gratitude I get for paying all her bills for the past 2 years, all because she's too lazy to get a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 885

You deserved it 1 904

19/08/2011 21:57

Spicy

Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 004

You deserved it 4 511

06/10/2018 03:00

Today, my husband is adamant he is not a cheater because "it only counts as cheating if you have sex with other women for free" so apparently 20-year-old male prostitutes don't count because they're not women and they cost money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 840

You deserved it 186

08/11/2009 11:46

Today, It was pretty nice out, so I decided to walk to work. Not twenty minutes after leaving, it started to pour. I was soaking when I got there and had to change. My boyfriend works next door, so I asked him if he could give me a ride. His reply? "Sorry Babe, I just can't be seen with you like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 543

You deserved it 4 407

24/01/2014 05:32

Spicy

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 52 142

You deserved it 18 916

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alwex 0

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Monday 2 March 2009 23:03

It doesn't make you a good driver for stopping at a yellow light when you could've gone through. It makes you a douchebag for stopping short and causing the guy behind you to bump you.. of course he's a douchebag too for running away. I guess everyone's a douchebag in this story

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Monday 2 March 2009 23:05

Ohh god, the guy should've realized you were stopping because your break lights would've shown. He was probably riding up on your tailgate so far that when you went to stop he crashsed into you. Then he decided to be a jackass and take off leaving you there.

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alwex 0

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Monday 2 March 2009 23:03

It doesn't make you a good driver for stopping at a yellow light when you could've gone through. It makes you a douchebag for stopping short and causing the guy behind you to bump you.. of course he's a douchebag too for running away. I guess everyone's a douchebag in this story

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Monday 30 August 2010 21:00

it Quebec for fuck sakes tho Frenchmen don't even stop for red lights

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Sunday 21 November 2010 7:30

you're a douche saying he's a douche. stopping at a yellow is good. couldn't been a red in no time. the other retard shoulda paid more attention on the road...

SubaruWRXSTI 16

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 21:39

In Canada, which is where OP lives, it is against the law to go through a yellow light, the rules say that it is a red-light. If you are able to stop you must. The only 2 douche bags I see are you and the driver that ran away.

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Monday 2 March 2009 23:05

Ohh god, the guy should've realized you were stopping because your break lights would've shown. He was probably riding up on your tailgate so far that when you went to stop he crashsed into you. Then he decided to be a jackass and take off leaving you there.

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Monday 2 March 2009 23:11

what an asshole... i hate people like that

urrka 0

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Monday 2 March 2009 23:13

hope you got his license plate number

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Monday 2 March 2009 23:13

That's a hit and run. I sure hope you got his license plate because if they catch him he's going to jail.

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Monday 2 March 2009 23:17

@#1 You should never be following close enough to rear end someone. It was the other guy's fault.

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Monday 2 March 2009 23:21

Aww :(. That happened to me on my way to school once. But just before he sped off I jotted down the guy's license plate number, so it all worked out haha.

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Monday 2 March 2009 23:21

no one knows how to spell brake I can't believe he had the nerve to tell you where to go and take off on you like that. Would have been smarter to just run. Now you can put posters of his face all over town :D

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Monday 2 March 2009 23:22

Yellow means one more can go.

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Monday 2 March 2009 23:23

@1, doesn't matter WHY someone stops, you have to be able to stop in time or you're at fault. Next time use your cell phone to IMMEDIATELY take a pic of the license plate of the other driver. Cell phone cameras folks! Remember to use them to capture the damage on BOTH cars, so they can't claim dmg later that wasn't there.