Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML
Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML
Today, I found out my work gave me a vacation for my performance. It's a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, with the nickname "The Sunniest Place on Earth." I have skin cancer. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
Today, a salesman came to the door and I assumed the guy was peddling solar stuff. Before the poor guy had a chance to say anything, I blurted out, "We don't need any, we only spend $80 on electricity in the summer." He pointed to his shirt and replied, "I'm an exterminator." I then tried to awkwardly apologize. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML
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Top comments
ForestFire0 1
Maybe if he talked like a regular person instead of like a vampire
Telcontar14 0
he actually said mortal enemy? Dude, don't sweat it, if he's talking like that he's just begging for such comments.
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Comments (107)
Serenity_fml 0
Could also have been a computer scientist.
vvvalori 0
lol, this is true :D
kaylathekooky 0
thats so horrible :[ why did he talk like a vampire though?
destryluvr 0
lmfao next time dont have a conversation with people
geek_in_the_pink 0
What? Vampires only sparkle in the sun. FYL for not knowing that.
Paigeth 0
You made me literally laugh out loud. Thank you. ( :
Whoa_YouSuckk 0
Hahh, ily #16. & vampires. (: But seriously, if that guy said the sun was his 'mortal enemy' he should've known people weren't gonna think he has skin cancer. Not your fault OP.
awdorable 0
hahaha, that was gold #16!! But besides, aren't WEREWOLVES suoopsed to be a vampire's mortal enemy. Sheesh.. OP- F his Life and FYL. I'm sorry, people are jerks. xoxo
zendaddy0 0
no I'm officially rejecting twilight as a vampire movie Edwards drachmas gay brother
redbluegreen 41
I love this FML. And the comments. :D
RIKANA 0
again with the twlight junk! also I do remeber that see in benchwarmers... RI
browneyedbeauty1_fml 0
FYL for watching Twilight
gueeterman 4
#42 your an abomination, your probably one of those crazy bitches who cant find their Edward. You people sicken me.
Ashi_fml 0
As horrible as that is, I admit I laughed.
fxdxhk90 0
Great. The Twilight fan idiots are getting involved.
lexilovesyou 0
Agreed Hahaha This is halarioussss!
hotissue 0
^ LOL
Ac30nfir3 0
Wow your a ******* dumbass! Everyone knows that if he really was a vampire, than his mortal enemy would be a werewolf. GOD.
Ac30nfir3 0
A joke by the way. :P
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
I love you. xD
Ac30nfir3 0
Thanks. LOL