Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my coworker brings in meat for lunch every single day and eats it at his desk. I'm a vegan and the smell makes me feel sick for hours. The management won't reprimand him or move either of us. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Today, after weeks of me "forgetting" to buy meat and animal products, my husband asked to talk. I was hoping he was getting the hints that I wanted us to go vegan. He wanted me to get checked for early-onset dementia. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
asapp78 16
Nothing to see here folks! Nothing to see...
Le_Doctor 10
Never got how people are vegan... I mean you're getting rid of bacon!
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Comments (103)
Omniprism 14
There are so many people that claim they are vegetarians and vegans that actually eat meat. It drives me bonkers.
i_h8t_everything 12
I tried being a vegan because of my respect for animals, but I simply couldn't resist the temptation of delicious, delicious, DELICIOUS meat. Instead of harassing him, try talking to him. Be the bigger person! Tell him as long as he respects YOUR way of living, you'll respect HIS. That way he won't eat meat, he won't harass you for doing it, and you'll be just fine living with each other :)
tishtashbat 16
On the plus side he might stop lecturing you about your eating habits now you've found out he was lying. And if he doesn't, reminding him of his hypocrisy will probably do the trick.
sanecatlady 13
I once some awful-looking cheap candy that said "suitable for vegans" on the label. I guess vegans who eat that care about the animals' but not their own lives.
tbart13 7
Hypocrite much?
emoscreamo11 1
LOL wtf. Ew. I hate vegans like that. POSER!
Sirmrcrowley 12
I'm sure that wasn't the only meat he'd had in his mouth that day....
larrysnowflakes 6
My aunt is a cook and she told my friend (who turned vegan this year) that vegans can still eat turkey or chicken. Don't believe me or not idc
FKJVMMP 17
Then your aunt is a dumbass and has no idea what a vegan actually is.
Mifflicious 18
I wonder what tree your aunt thinks chicken grows on.
iKristien 5
If I were a vegan or vegetarian, I'd rather not eat in your aunt's restaurant ...
tehdarkness 21
YDI for living with a vegan!
Fas4wd 13
Hahahah