Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my coworker brings in meat for lunch every single day and eats it at his desk. I'm a vegan and the smell makes me feel sick for hours. The management won't reprimand him or move either of us. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Today, after weeks of me "forgetting" to buy meat and animal products, my husband asked to talk. I was hoping he was getting the hints that I wanted us to go vegan. He wanted me to get checked for early-onset dementia. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
asapp78 16
Nothing to see here folks! Nothing to see...
Le_Doctor 10
Never got how people are vegan... I mean you're getting rid of bacon!
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Comments (103)
disney_blonde 16
Revenge: cook bacon and cook it often.
0ss 12
Now you have ammunition for when he lectures you next.
TheyCallMeDamien 17
If he tries to say anything n the future tell him "I can't hear you over your hypocrisy."
ea247 20
SMH -_- ******* hypocrites
1947Chevy 17
Now that's when you say if your eating meat while sleep walking then that's a good sign of protein deficiency. Even if it's not true it's still clever and it makes a point that you are no buying it
worldclassrager 39
Bacon I can understand...unless it was turkey bacon
91hayek 31
What are you doing snacking at night? Sounds like you two are creeping around trying not to get caught indulging lol.
91hayek 31
I take morning to be anytime past midnight. Not just after the sun has risen.
91hayek 31
I take night to to mean anytime it's dark. Evening to be anytime that is before midnight. When I say last night I mean the evening before. Writing it out makes me realize why its confusing.
Curlytwirly22 17
Asshole !!!!
TheMystery13 13
Well hey, he's done now! Every time he mentions it, insist relentlessly that he have a turkey sandwich...or maybe just tell him to suck on your meat.
alexhanakahi 14
Move along people. Nothing to see here!