Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my coworker brings in meat for lunch every single day and eats it at his desk. I'm a vegan and the smell makes me feel sick for hours. The management won't reprimand him or move either of us. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Today, after weeks of me "forgetting" to buy meat and animal products, my husband asked to talk. I was hoping he was getting the hints that I wanted us to go vegan. He wanted me to get checked for early-onset dementia. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
asapp78 16
Nothing to see here folks! Nothing to see...
Le_Doctor 10
Never got how people are vegan... I mean you're getting rid of bacon!
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Comments (103)
sunnyray812 42
Hypocrites will be hypocrites....
Retrokitty 9
Well at least now he has no room to lecture you.
pratikp03 22
Don't lool, don't tell.
EdenCrystal 21
Ah, sleepwalking, the international excuse people use when they do shit they aren't proud of.
lindora 35
this is not a home invasion, I'm just sleepwalking....
showmeyourears 19
I thought the international excuse for unfavorable behaviors was alcohol.
blackonblight 32
No no, get with it, Ambien is the excuse now.
ian3866 12
I'd be more pissed about him eating your food when you're not looking since he's not buying the meat and putting up an act
ThomasBombadil 31
Yep, time for a new housemate. Who knows what else their doing.
Capitan 15
No you can bother him.
DeeDeeJay 15
Who is he to tell you what to eat if he can't even stay a vegetarian?
Emily062611 6
The roommate could be 100% perfectly vegan but he still doesn't get to tell anyone what to eat, in my opinion. But yeah, the hypocrisy really makes it worse!
krissajulia 10
Wow.. Hypocrite.
weveallbeenthere 30
tell him to start buying some meats for you. maybe your cooking is Soooo good that you converted him.
KiaKarma 11
Hmm, I've never tried cooking a turkey sandwich..
BootheGhost 6
Id think you'd toast the bread some, i guess that's a cooked sandwich? S:
Sagan928 7
Too bad you didn't get a video of him eating it. You could have used it to shut him up every time you eat meat!!