Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
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Top comments
Malkria 1
What an ass...
MissIconic 8
Try a girl friend but not before smacking that horndog upside the head.
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Comments (116)
PeterChaban 9
Did he offer you cream at the end?
budnut 10
First Comment Nazi?
FMLKitten 15
He didn't know what to write, do he wrote something random until he thought up a real first comment :-O
Dixbfloppin 11
"Noone" isn't a word, #6...
Ms_ValS 27
You need to develop better taste in men
fuzz97 23
I don't think that's the issue here
mrsmirk 8
Guys treat girls like that when they think they can get away with it, as in you wont get mad.. or as in an im-just-joking-but-not-totally sort of way. Now, What sort of girls let guys get away with things like this... hmm.. girls with low self esteem, who are usually referred to as a "what" based on their actions... hmmm? Then again, I'm a virgin, and I faint when I try to talk to a girl.
DerrickJames 33
You can always see a dawg coming a mile away.
the_derps 4
spoken like a true misogynist cretin. blame the victim. go kill yourself.
Malkria 1
What an ass...
Dixbfloppin 11
I'm fairly sure a donkey wouldn't have the ability to comfort and buy ice cream for a girl.
dressedskeleton 10
I bet Donkey would. You know, Donkey from Shrek :)
LolFMLnot 10
Maybe he broke you guys up in the first place to get in your pants ;) but thats just an assumption
EternalHatred 3
Yay, for **** buddies! :D
howell23 6
Haha ur hilarious!!
FMLKitten 15
Heads up on that one Op ;-D
MissIconic 8
Try a girl friend but not before smacking that horndog upside the head.
stephan18 23
Guys don't want to be your friend, when will girls learn?
DooleyFTW 17
Guy friends seem to always see their female friends as potential girlfriends no matter what the situation! OP your friend is an idiot for how he went about things but I bet he probably liked you for a long time while you were taken!
onlychildFTW 34
Well he was going to give you cream OP. I just don't think it would be ICE cream. Haha. But that sucks OP what ^ said is right.
ImJK_fml 0
OMG what a preconcieve idea you have there. Guys can have girls as friends without thinking about bringing them in their bed.
shadexilmaendu 4
I still don't think that really justifies his actions. Oh, I've liked you for years. I'm sorry you're feeling sad. Let me shove my crotch in your face... You know, to show you how much I care...
the_true_batman 10
I don't agree, I've had plenty of female friends who I didn't see as potential girlfriends. He was just an asshole. Typically, once we've reached a certain level of friendship without anything sexual happening, we're just friends. I'm sorry your friend was such a dick, OP. I hope he wasn't too good of a friend, so you won't lose too much by throwing him away.
the_true_batman 10
66: I don't think that that was supposed to be justifying his actions. I think people are too quick to say something is justifying wrong-doing, or blaming the victim. Most people aren't trying to do either. On another note, I hate stories like this. Sometimes I might want to do something along the lines of taking out a female friend for ice cream after a break-up, but I worry that she might think I have something like that in mind. If idiots didn't pull that kind of shit I wouldn't have to worry about it.
porkpiehat 8
Any of them that say any different are lying or in denial. There is no such thing as a truly platonic relationship.
science_nerd 5
Guy friends always see their girl-friends as potential mates, they just don't ever tell the girls.
zaynismylove 2
wow what a douche
fuzz97 23
boring comment is boring
mrsmirk 8
what comment, I wanna know what comment you thought was boring.. oh well next time leave the comment number to reference
fuzz97 23
39, are you daft
fuzz97 23
It looks like 39's comment doesn't exist anymore. Oh well
zaynismylove 2
53- Lol
Snazzy_Snaz 17
Well **** me, who wouldn't get turned on by ice cream? Everyone loves ice cream!!! I'm more afraid of what dessert might be.
Dixbfloppin 11
There are people who are lactose intolerant, so nope, not everyone loves ice cream.
astralvagan 20
You should never eat at a Golden Corral then. They have tons of desserts, and you might end up humping a waitress during business hours.
wellfuuucckme 7
11- Haha
j_cat187 20
"Awww poor you, would mai dick cheer you up?" *smack* How can someone be that stupid?
onlychildFTW 34
The only why that's cheer a girl up is if she was addicted to it. But that's rare.
Feverrotes 15
How did you not see that coming?
Nekogami 14
Cuming*
Feverrotes 15
Delusional men and women are bound to bury this statement but a YouTube video titled "Why Men and Women Can't be friends" is enough evidence to support my theory.
mrsmirk 8
maybe he said he wanted to cum for you and you just misunderstood him?
eggmarie 25
Just stop now. Please.