Motherly love

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 21:23 - United States

Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 700
You deserved it 3 296

Same thing different taste

Top comments

"No really, I'm normal!" "Of course you are buddy, now hold my hand as we get off the train and we bring you home to your mommy"


Alright guys, here's the tiresomely humiliating situation: I was attempting to slowly, sensuously eat my own muffin, and now through the awesome power of my own stupidity, I look like a god-damn freakish inverted version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame. How, you ask? Well, when I say muffin, I'm afraid I don't mean my blueberry muffin. No guys, I mean my ******' chocolate chip muffin. I wasn't as limber as I'd so arrogantly believed, and now I need eyes in the back of my head just to see what's in front of me. Any thoughts on how to rectify this situation before the Reverend arrives and all hell breaks loose? Wee-woo.

Seek professional help, u have mental issues.

UpsidedownKayak 9

Damn it! Doc, we have another one. Ok, this is how you fix it, first, Doc has to surgically remove your head from your ass. I don't know the full details of how he does it but you'd better hope that your insurance pays well or it is going to be excruciatingly painful. Next, you have to pay tithing to Sirin and it has to be paid in your blood and pain, no Doc's surgery doesn't count. Then after the reverend arrives, the two of you pray to the FML gods and goddesses for forgiveness and repent of your sin of saying "First".

PurplePeeps 0
KingDingALing 9

I'm glad I took a class on this! Ok, here's what you do: shove a long, straight stick up your ass and that should straighten out your back.

KingDingALing 9

Hey, it worked for all the other weirdos... Don't not it till' you try it!

DudeImBetter 0

^ you mean don't knock it until you try it.

stewpididiot 11

Well now, Docs pretty good, but the Rectocranial inversion is sometimes irreversible and the head might not be removable. He might have to perform an emergency optirectomy, Which is where he'll cut that little cord that goes from your eyeball to to your asshole and hopefully improve your shitty outlook on life. Best Wishes & Good luck with the deductible on this one. Woof !!!

This is what I get for skipping the comments on this one for a whole day. I'm still amazed there are people who think they're limber enough for auto-cunilingus. When will people learn? Jenncatherine, call my office STAT. The number is 1-800-SAY-FIRST.

KatieRawrr 0
alfredrog 0

OP u are lucky, ur mom wants you so much to the point of calling the train station :P, be glad some people doesn't have such parents :p

MaximilianMarche 0

33. its he is sofa king we todded

IneffableLullaby 13

Wow, that really sucks, OP. Your mom sounds overprotective.

"No really, I'm normal!" "Of course you are buddy, now hold my hand as we get off the train and we bring you home to your mommy"

GetaLifePlease 0

Bu-but.. I uh I... I'm not HERP DERPY DERPY DOO!!

mintcar 9

She was just worried. Parents...that's just how they are.

you shouldnt refer to people with special needs as retarded. thats rude... try a diff word next time please

retarded used to be correct term except people use it negatively so now people have to call them mentally challenged or something like that.

And we can come up with a new word every week that has none of the baggage of the previous word, but it will be no time at all before that's what I yell at the next guy who cuts me off in traffic.

daiissyyy 0

you should've played along with it! 