Today, my husband was changing our son’s overflowing diaper. Instead of getting up and walking the putrid mess to the bin, he decided to shoot it basketball-style. He missed and it hit the wall, sliding down leaving a huge sloppy streak. He expected me to clean it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML
Today, my husband finally decided to help with the laundry. He washed a pen and it exploded in the dryer. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were changing our newborn son when he peed on her, making me lose it laughing. Less than five seconds later, as I picked him up to clean him off, he did a huge poop, all over my hands, arms, feet, and clothes. Instant Karma. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JasonThorn 23
"YOU made the mess, Air Jackhole. YOU clean it up."
demix_fml 32
Throw it at his head !
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (10)
JasonThorn 23
"YOU made the mess, Air Jackhole. YOU clean it up."
demix_fml 32
Throw it at his head !
mekiswrite 21
So much for *swish*.
RichardPencil 32
Get that rebound and take it to the hole! With the loss of March Madness and the NBA season, we need to get our hoops action somewhere! Your husband's FG percentage is... ...wait on it... ...shitty!
Dale Gulley 8
Nope...’nuff said
ojoRojo 27
...and you told him you wouldn’t? Right?
sickerthanyou 13
And that’s why he isn’t making money doing that
jfigley 5
Thats hilarious! But hell no I hope you made him clean it. ...
tounces7 28
Sounds like you're married to a child. Good luck with your eventual divorce.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Congratulations, you're married to an immature, irresponsible man-child.