Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, to cheer my girlfriend up after her mother died a week ago, I took her to a comedy club. The comedian's theme for the night happened to be mother-daughter relationships. FML
Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML
Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said, "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
Today, I went to a comedy show, expecting to feel better about a difficult relationship. Instead, I saw a performance written by the girl who loves my husband, about my husband, and how she loves him. FML
Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML
Today, I announced to my family that I will be trying out for the next season of America's Best Dance Crew. They responded by laughing hysterically and my mother said "You guys suck, good luck making it past auditions". FML
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Top comments
kingkevin2001 9
You should've yelled "My mom is a judgmental bitch!"
briggsopposed 8
Don't you love it when moms think their children are failures
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Comments (102)
ulissey_fml 22
Loads of writers and stand-up comics have made tons of money by telling jokes about their loud, embarrassing and over possessive moms. Get down to work and get your own back !
leilana33 4
how old are you? if you're under 18, i can understand. but, if you are 18+ then i wouldn't blame her. im 22 and i have a boyfriend of 3 years. you should do the same, it's not that hard. you should always listen to your mum. xo
SystemofaBlink41 27
It's hard for a lot people, actually. It's not that easy to just go out your front door and find a three year relationship.
leilana33 4
well, if its hard for you to find a boyfriend then you got problems. i went out and socialized, met this guy, dated several months later. boom. if you're an adult, your priorities should be starting a family of your own. Yeppet's mom obviously wants the best for her daughter. what if she wants grand kids. always respect your parents wishes and honor your parents. that's what i always have been taught :]]]] xo
Spark_Slicker 19
Not everybody wants a family or even a relationship. And respecting your parents doesn't mean doing exactly what they want you to do with your own life.
baseballbv 17
#72... Wow. Just wow. I don't understand where you grew up or where you lived your life, but wanting things doesn't make it so. Just because you want a relationship with someone and connect with a multitude of people, doesn't mean it's that easy to foster a relationship. You just happened to get incredibly lucky to meet someone you clicked with without having to meet a lot of people. Most other people are not so lucky. Most people need to meet a lot of people to finally have the right chemistry with. Also, it's not a person's job to live up to mommy and daddy's wishes. Just because her mom may want her in a relationship, doesn't mean she should go get one. That's the most unintelligent thing to go do. You're affecting someone else's life by trying to enter in a relationship that you have no stake or feelings in just to make mommy happy.
JazNim17 18
That's great for you, but like others have said, it's not always that easy. I was completely single for five years (ages 15-20). It's not like I didn't socialize and get to know people, and I'm not scared of talking to guys (heck, several of my close friends are male). It's not even that I wasn't interested or couldn't find guys who were interested. But the guys I liked were never the ones who liked me, so dating just kind of didn't happen until right before I turned 21.
stargirl_95 24
#72 you sound incredibly immature for a 22 year old. Firstly, not everyone wants to be in a relationship or start a family. As people have said, OP could be aromantic. Secondly, it's not easy for everyone to find a boyfriend because not everyone can find someone they connect with right away. I'm 19 and I have friends who have never dated anyone. There's nothing wrong with them, they just haven't connected with anyone on that level yet. So stop being so judgemental
dave122345 9
Yep your life sucks.
HotShot313 15
why is getting a boy friend so important ? you should get married instead.
TheLadyOpal 30
Um, it's kind of common for husbands to start out as boyfriends.
nitrog100 21
Well that does sound like a problem. If you're the one that asked her to go to the show with you, you might come off as being unable to find a boyfriend. You may want to refrain from engaging in couple-y activities like that in the future.
martin8337 36
Abd let the comedy routine begin.
Clubcan_handlme 9
Did they use it?
Cygnus_fml 10
I volunteer!
Brody_Generico 7
Did they choose it?
shredwhitendblue 8
This is wrong. You do what you want especially without the embarrassment