Intimacy: Man child

Man child

By Anonymous - 26/10/2011 23:44 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 612

You deserved it 5 901

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Same thing different taste

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 636

You deserved it 6 187

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 907

You deserved it 6 511

Honky

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 14:06 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 025

You deserved it 5 032

By spaceavery - 24/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Gresham

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 241

You deserved it 1 574

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 779

You deserved it 5 478

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 345

You deserved it 2 811

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 804

You deserved it 5 067

Common passion

By ShowerheadGirl - 09/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable shower head. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, "You too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 165

You deserved it 25 227

The good old days

By WOWreally - 25/09/2009 06:24 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid, and my husband said, "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 033

You deserved it 12 108

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 488

You deserved it 11 066

joeyf23 5

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:59

that's hilarious but kinda weird

SquashedSpider7 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:00

AMAZING! Your Husband is BOSS!!!

Comments

krysxkatastrophe 14

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:04

Some people are into the squid thing.

Iheartfunny 1

Thursday 27 October 2011 22:20

Yeah they are its my 9th favourite fetish.

Mordakai420 6

Friday 28 October 2011 17:19

I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going...

nick347b 6

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:04

Don't give him any.

Sethro 1

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:04

Haha, just made my night. Your husband has a sense of humor.

krad204 21

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:04

That guy is awesome, I watch Spongebob all the time!

yourlifeisbetter_fml 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:05

Tell him Squidward better get back to Bikini Bottom.

FUCKNAMESBREH 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 20:58

I see what you did there, clever sir.

katie1014 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 17:20

Haaha

purple_98 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:06

That's really funny! Considering I still watch that show :)

Wheredidgrungego 12

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:06

At least he didn't put the entire thing in your cheek to try and make you look like sandy.

Late_night83 25

Thursday 27 October 2011 18:22

He did that afterword most likely.

DragonGirl1031 11

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:09

Wow...even my ex-husband wasn't that bad.

yourlifeisbetter_fml 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:11

You're 22 and you already have an ex-husband?... I'm sorry!

GypsyRover 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 7:11

That is a great tat! :-)

JinxosGirl87 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:10

Apparently he finds having sex with Squidward a major turn on...

loudema 5

Thursday 27 October 2011 10:49

Not as much as I am turned on by you!!! Yum yum

dmwise123 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:11

You probably luaghed Like him to huh?

Keywords

Work Management Love Jealousy Mental health Relationship advice Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Family Money Birthday Education Public freakouts Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 224

You deserved it 4 768

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 167

You deserved it 2 954

The Top

Today, I spent my first night with my girlfriend. After waiting for weeks, a few seconds were enough to make a fool of myself when I tried to remove her panties twice. It was a tan line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 160

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 009

You deserved it 8 121

Today, at my birthday party in an expensive sushi restaurant that I spent hundreds of dollars to reserve, my boyfriend of 3 years proposed… to my sister. She said yes. They’ve been secretly seeing each other for the past year. She just graduated high school this past summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 97

Today, I bought medical gloves to protect my hands from various chemicals at work since I have eczema. I had an allergic reaction to the gloves, and now my eczema is even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 946

You deserved it 2 846

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 407

You deserved it 2 708

Today, the guy that I'm in love with and plan to marry some day told me he would choose a million dollars over me. I got upset and told him I no longer want to be with him. In an excited voice he said, "Really? So are you serious I don't have to worry about this love stuff anymore?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 233

You deserved it 9 157

Man child

Same thing different taste

The language of love

Honky

Common passion

The good old days

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