Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML
Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML
Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML
Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. Twenty minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I realized how bored I am with life in general, as well as how bad my ADHD has gotten, when I saw a fly eating a crumb I dropped on the floor and watched it for two minutes straight. FML
Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mothertruck 6
You are a friend to me too, JustAnotherFML23 - Mr. Stickyfoot
wowlolreally 12
Flies need love too
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (55)
profoundkisses 18
Mr Stickyfoot will stand by you :>
dinagdotphoto 13
If by "stand by" you meant "fly away", then YES
dinagdotphoto 13
Poor Mr. Stickyfoot - an innocent casualty of your boredom..
jw90 18
Better than my fish, Mr. Grumpy Gills. He swims around his taking flaring his fins at me. I think he hates me.
jw90 18
Gah, auto correct strikes again. Tank*
DDCA 24
I would hate you too if you named me Mr. Grumpy Gills! I kid, I kid. That name is quite pimp.
fmlnjd2013 15
Go outside Jack. There are still people there if you look!!
joe502 3
It is called a dog... They are 4 legged animals that will love u to pieces.... My dog is a lab/boarder collie mix.... Smart/sweet/always ready to sit in your lap and let you pet him.... I promise if u get one you will not be lonely. Also a good dog will help with your appeal to the opposite sex!!!!!! They r GREAT conversation starters...
DjeePee 24
A fly fits better in an apartment than a dog.
Beepbeep7 14
Is there a reason you named him that? Like maybe your new "friend" is hanging off some flypaper?
tralala453 22
What a cute name!
JesseAttack 21
Have fun with him before he passes away! Or gets killed in your soup...
worldclassrager 39
Get a pet or a roommate...well you can find Mr. Stickyfoot #23 (if I miscounted I apologize)...
kitkatmiaow 21
I love me stickyfoot!! I used to name flies... They were all Fred. ... Unless they were the baby ones , then they were Elizabeth