Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML
Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML
Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML
Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. Twenty minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I realized how bored I am with life in general, as well as how bad my ADHD has gotten, when I saw a fly eating a crumb I dropped on the floor and watched it for two minutes straight. FML
Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mothertruck 6
You are a friend to me too, JustAnotherFML23 - Mr. Stickyfoot
wowlolreally 12
Flies need love too
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (55)
sproutlet 5
I did the same to a spider in my house. He lived in the bathroom and I called him Harry. He never seemed to move when I was in the room, sometimes he'd dissapear for a few days only to re-appear in the exact same place. I grew quite fond of him. Then he left for good and i missed him for a week or so lol.
becca0044 5
I did that once... But then he fell in the toilet
broken_deathtrap 10
well if it makes you feel like you have company...I have 3 flying friends: bizzbizz (a wasp that live in my window), Mrs.Longnail (a 1000 legger that live in my old hamsters cage), and stank....a drink bug...(also Mrs.lingnail is in a hanging cage so that's why she is flying)
mylonius 19
He sounds like a swell fellow.
MistressAfrodite 5
I befriend moths, praying mantis, spiders, and stink bugs lol. it’s all good.