Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML
Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML
Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML
Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. Twenty minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I realized how bored I am with life in general, as well as how bad my ADHD has gotten, when I saw a fly eating a crumb I dropped on the floor and watched it for two minutes straight. FML
Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML
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Top comments
mothertruck 6
You are a friend to me too, JustAnotherFML23 - Mr. Stickyfoot
wowlolreally 12
Flies need love too
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Comments (55)
AnOriginalName 19
Bubble Buddy is my favorite friend.
Pwn17 25
Sorry to hear about your loneliness OP. You sound creative though. That's a quality that could help you meet someone. Hope you feel happier soon!
IvyOswin 17
You should get a pet. A dog or a cat or even an iguana, something to take care of. Then you won't feel so lonely.
blackonblight 32
And you know, it's only gonna get worse in a day when he's dead.
Fluffydemise 18
I feel bad telling you your friend has only got a lifespan of half a day - to a week, tops. Wait a minute, no I don't. :D
unhappyhug 11
Ill be ya friend, everyone should have at lest one mate
RonnieG 10
you do know that there are shelters full of actual pets, right?
lysx84 24
My brother used to befriend flies, every fly he had in his room as a child was called "Joe". My brother is a weirdo though...
doodlecloud 26
Every spider in my room is called Alistair....the fly is called Marty.
150493x 29
Do something you enjoy outside and maybe you'll meet new people who enjoy the same things as you do :)
lowshadows 21
Omg do something! go out! hire a gigalo or party cuz the company of others is preferable to loneliness.