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Today, I forgot my phone in a restaurant bathroom because I was too distracted trying to steal three rolls of toilet paper without anyone noticing. After sinking that low because I was too broke to buy my own toilet roll, I'm now also in the market for a new phone. FML
You can tie a long string between two of the toilet paper roll cores and, voilà, you have a phone!
You can afford to eat out but don't have money for toilet paper? Interesting priorities...