Today, I was helping my church clean up a park. I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off. About halfway through, I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML
Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
Today, while nailing a board down, I hit my thumb with the hammer. As I reached to console my throbbing finger, I dropped the hammer on my foot. When I went down to hold my foot, I smacked my head on the board. Now I've got a concussion, a smashed finger, and a bruised foot. FML
Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML
Today, the lights went out at the gym while I was holding a heavy bar. I tried to put it back on the rack, missed, and dropped it on my toe. Then, as I was limping around in pain, I hit my head on one of the other bars on a rack at head height. FML
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
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Top comments
Poonheart 0
That must have shattered your shin... -.-
justxmyxluck 0
I'm cringing just reading this. Well at least you didn't hit your crotch. That would just about kill you. =/
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Comments (256)
RIKANA 0
Ouch! Hope your ok... RI
IPMERFECTisTHEne 0
Oh my god!!! Are you okay?!
brownkid32 0
wtf
jSOPURE 3
Yikes. :(
casseah 0
i've done that.... my shin still has a large dent in it :S
lyndis_fml 0
Brownkid, that's because the FML staff want to be immune to criticism. And why is "today" even in the rules? It's pointless and adds nothing except the uniformity they so desperately want to enforce.
uberchicken 0
That's why you don't start like that.
BalenciagaBetch9 0
omfg wtf?!?!?!
Junaeffer 0
So...(I'm totally kidding in my comment, I'm religious, everyone can chill out.) To sum this up: You got banged at church? Alrighty then, Amen.
PensiveCub 0
That's jesus' love for ya. LOL YDI