Today, I was helping my church clean up a park. I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off. About halfway through, I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML
Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
Today, while nailing a board down, I hit my thumb with the hammer. As I reached to console my throbbing finger, I dropped the hammer on my foot. When I went down to hold my foot, I smacked my head on the board. Now I've got a concussion, a smashed finger, and a bruised foot. FML
Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML
Today, the lights went out at the gym while I was holding a heavy bar. I tried to put it back on the rack, missed, and dropped it on my toe. Then, as I was limping around in pain, I hit my head on one of the other bars on a rack at head height. FML
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
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Top comments
Poonheart 0
That must have shattered your shin... -.-
justxmyxluck 0
I'm cringing just reading this. Well at least you didn't hit your crotch. That would just about kill you. =/
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Comments (256)
amatayo 0
Jesus, um well I mean hahaha to funny
that_guy_you_are 0
That's what you get for vandalizing a public park with your cult buddies. Maybe if you pray hard enough you can fix your broken shins :P
zanthrax 0
Where is your god now?! haha, YDI for believing in god.
RyeBreadBoy 0
that's what you get. you should've had the priest bless the hammer before you started. but seriously, 52 and 58 are right. there's no way that (even if you somehow managed to miss a gigantic picnic table) you would hit yourself in the shin, unless you were standing right next to it or using a sledgehammer with an impossibly short handle. YDI for not knowing how to swing a sledgehammer. and if you DID hit yourself in the shin (while swinging hard enough to break up a concrete picnic table) you'd definitely have broken your leg. and who even has concrete picnic tables? i was under the impression that they were normally made of wood. also, i find it hilarious that there are so many atheists/agnostics posting on this. i particularly like number 166.
jumpdancehigh 0
Get well soon.
Harajuku_tits 0
god must hate you :)
fuckmeamiright 0
oh man, i felt like i was gonna throw up after reading this
DizzyDemon0 9
#21..He said "just about..." and please do not take it in a literal sense....you reek of stupidity. I'm confused how you miss with a sledgehammer. I have done many projects where you use one to break up all sorts of things. I've broken up 20ftx3ft sections of walkway with one and never had a problem using it. Though I suppose on a smaller scale..I was using a hammer to nail base boards down before I laid down flooring in a kitchen. Each board required 36x10 nails..about 360 nails each. I did 6 boards. In that time I hit my left thumb in the same spot four times... My nail turned black and ended up falling off. *sigh
jaredjc51 0
Strike one.
um_duh 0
They always say no good deed goes unturned. Sucks for you man, hope you're ok!