Today, I was helping my church clean up a park. I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off. About halfway through, I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML
Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
Today, while nailing a board down, I hit my thumb with the hammer. As I reached to console my throbbing finger, I dropped the hammer on my foot. When I went down to hold my foot, I smacked my head on the board. Now I've got a concussion, a smashed finger, and a bruised foot. FML
Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML
Today, the lights went out at the gym while I was holding a heavy bar. I tried to put it back on the rack, missed, and dropped it on my toe. Then, as I was limping around in pain, I hit my head on one of the other bars on a rack at head height. FML
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
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Top comments
Poonheart 0
That must have shattered your shin... -.-
justxmyxluck 0
I'm cringing just reading this. Well at least you didn't hit your crotch. That would just about kill you. =/
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Comments (256)
livingdeath 0
I know how much that hurts, I did it with the dull side of an axe. I was in shock with my amazing luck from sneezing at the exact right moment for, well, actually, I haven't stopped for a couple of years.
theskippster 0
lol Way to go
livingdeath 0
I'm Mr. two-tone today.
stubbornchiq 0
when i finished reading this, i automatically said "OH ****!" sorry mann, hope you feel better.
Matzaball300 0
ouch.... i hope u were able to stay conscise... ouch :/
podrummer9209 0
Smooth.
av232 0
*shivers*
pascx42 0
Can u say " lack of hand eye coordination"
rubmytummy 0
it was like 2 weeks ago. it wasn't an 8 foot sledgehammer. I didn't smash my shin, i just have a massive bruise that hasn't even finished forming yet. and ROFL to those of you who keep saying "man, bro, & he" cuz i'm a 110 lb, 16 year old, CHICK. so they probably shouldn't have given me a sledgehammer xD and i was standing the wrong way. i had my left leg forward because i almost fell over when i stood the right way. and the table part that i was smashing was about waist high on me so that's how the hammer went right into my shin. and i'm not "stupid" or a "douche", i'm just a clutzy kinda girl :) thanks to those of you who were being such assholes though. i really appreciate it :)
noslo 5
That sucks but when you use a sledge hammer or axe your supposed to spred your legs appart so that doesn't happen.