Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in three days. FML
Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
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Top comments
nix1993 41
Take it as a compliment! Either that or they just aren't very subtle about wishing you hadn't come home.
oj101 33
Keep up the hard work, and soon you'll be so thin, no one can even see you when you turn sideways. That way, you'll be a much more efficient burglar.
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Comments (52)
Sir_ND_Pity 35
2 - You aren't suppose to enter a house that way...? That explains a lot.
wlddog 14
OP must not live in the south. We don't call the cops. We call the ambulance.
wtfwhyfml 12
Congrats on getting in shape OP. I had something kinda similar happen to me; although I wasn't returning from school. I spent a year in Florida working; slimmed down so much and changed my hair cut so dramatically that no one believed I was me for months after I came home.
mcrepas 19
I read your comment like pikachu...
LyraAlluse 25
I hope they recognized you when the cops showed up. That is too messed up for words!
itsjaliciaa 5
That's Ood ! Whoo Sexcy !
greatfirstdate 18
At least you didn't gain the Freshman 15 :)
icepick23 12
Maybe you had the wrong house?
chosha_fml 26
Bragger. :)
fmlking100 7
that sucks