By me. - 01/12/2012 14:54 - United States

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 431
You deserved it 7 313

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

I have some wierd feeling that that would work and no ones ever tried it before. Then again, I never passed the 10th grade so what would I know?

Common sense isn't a requirement for graduating high school.

Comments

Your boyfriends a dumbass

OP, this won't be as bad of a FML, if you end up having kids with him, that will.

It's actually not a bad idea, no one has ever tried it before so it might work. I don't know, it's a possibility.

"no one has ever tried it before" Normally when a moron says this, I encourage them, but encouraging you in this case, may lead to more of you. It WILL NOT work, unless she can shove a tampon that far up, and it is not guaranteed to soak up every last sperm cell regardless. By the way, Semen and Sperm are different.

*insert You Don't Say meme here*

Either he is a dumbass or he was just joking.. i really hope he was joking LOOL

Seriously?!? Clearly you don't know, because NO that would not work. You might as well be recommending douching with cola. Which, might I add since you might now know, also does not work.

No need for condoms anymore guys! Just make sure to have that extra tampon in your wallet!

The average man releases 100 million sperm when he ejaculates. It only takes one to fertilize the egg. So don't be stupid.

84 I feel bad enough doing the walk of shame to the counter to buy condoms I don't even want to think about trying it with tampons

It might somewhat reduce the pregnancy risk. If a low sperm count can render it impossible, then thinning them out should cut down on the risk.

91, it takes more than 1 sperm cell to fertilize an egg…

#102 actually #100 is correct as the wall protecting the egg has to be broken by other sperm cells. While it may take just 1 to actually fertilize the egg it takes many to break down the protective barrier for that one to do its job

Walk of shame? You're embarrassed to have sex?

1- There is a dumbass in your picture.

I have some wierd feeling that that would work and no ones ever tried it before. Then again, I never passed the 10th grade so what would I know?

It would be cool if it did work, but it wouldn't. v.v

I have a feeling a tampon would absorb some of his stuff from in her. But it definitely wouldn't get it all.

Skip the tampon, get the vacuum cleaner, stick it in, open your mouth and press play! 100% failsafe!

Pullin it out helps too just FYI

I feel like the tampon would just push the sperm up to her cervix and make it easier for them to get to an egg.

Would it work to use a turkey baster or the big poultry syringe things w/o the needle on it to suck it out?

Not only that it wouldn't work, it would really hurt to put a tampon in when you're not on your period...

Actually, the liquid would help it go in, like period blood does

Lets hope your future children don't inherit his brains...

IF they do have children, that is... Lol

18- which they WILL have children

Well hopefully she doesn't give this idiot another chance to procreate.

Common sense isn't a requirement for graduating high school.

... or college

Or for reproduction.

Common sense was all I needed to pass high school no studying required

69, well who's a special.. Human?:) you are.

69- People with your immature arrogance really bother me.

Technically speaking, pregnancy prevention isn't actually common sense, whereas getting out of the way of an oncoming truck is.

36- If you lack the common sense to attend classes then you would most likely fsil in college. So, yes, you do need common sense to graduate college.

*fail- sorry about that.

109 thats not arrogance he just said he used common sense and passed highschool

Pretty smart actually

That's what I was thinking. I don't think it's a bad idea...

If that worked, i wouldn't have two of my three kids

19--you have actually tried this?

52) it's called a joke.

66 we can only hope. We can also hope that her kids don't fml and know her user name.

Quick, someone help me find an MIB agent so they can send me to a planet with intelligent on it.

i hate it when i wake up in the morning and can't find my intelligent.

I see the seriously grammatical flaw that broke my joke. I feel like an idiot and deserved to be buried. Thanks for pointing it out Flockz.

I believe you mean the serious grammatical flaw.

I think you mean deserve to be buried.

This was funnier than the FML lol

You should take a morning after pill, then wait a few weeks and tell him your pregnant to see his reaction. Also op, your boyfriend knew it broke from the beginning that it broke. You can feel the difference when it brakes and sometimes hear it brake.

The condom doesn't always break as you enter. It can also break when you cum.

I'm not sure what happens when a condoms brakes but I know what happens when a condoms BREAKS.

26- Since you're determined to be a grammar nazi, "When a condom breaks", not "When a condoms break".

31, you mean breaks, not break.

33- That's true, I suppose we are all raving hypocrites.

Yes #7, trick him into thinking you're pregnant just to judge his reaction, what a terrific idea. What would that even accomplish? If a woman ever does this to a man, I hope the guy would leave her right away for being crazy and manipulative.

48 - I had a friend do this to her boyfriend to keep him from leaving her. He left her and tried to check her into a mental institution.

It seems like there's just so much "intelligent" on fml...

I knew a girl who's boyfriend was moving away, and she tried telling him she was pregnant. He quit talking to her, and then she asked him to get her pregnant. He ended up moving ahead of schedule. Then again this was in 8th grade so this doesn't really hold any relevance to this FML.

Perhaps you should increase your standards for those you make your bf.

That's his Plan A? What about Plan B? (Morning after pill)

Teach him the truth and CONDOM it from ever happening again! (I know condemn is spelled differently) The way he said that is hilarious by the way.

First rule of punning: Never point out that you're punning. EDIT: Beaten to it.

Thanks for the tip lol