Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady who lives next to me. Funnily enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom, who lived with me. FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He told me one of my lights was busted, and I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said, "Thanks, I'll get that fixed right away." then gave me a ticket. FML
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Top comments
gurding 15
Did they at least give you directions?
CrookedCook 14
Seems like a blessing in disguise to me.
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Comments (57)
Peeves_fml 17
Too bad you weren't in Mr. Roger's neighborhood. He'd be a lot more friendly.
rg350dx 29
"I'll say this once Lawrence, I hope it's understood. Get right back in your van and get the **** outta my neighborhood"
BlissfulLiss 18
You could have just knocked on one of the doors and asked for directions. I wonder what would have became of you had the cops not been called...
naxeeb 33
Why not use GPS or maps? Or even stopping by some place and asking for directions? Would've made the situation easier :/
Smoldering 15
There are blank spots on GPS you know, so it doesn't always work.
Risho96 10
Not to mention that not everyone even has a GPS or a smart phone.
buckdharma 38
Someone called the po po on op. Someone called the po po , I know. Someone called the po po on op. He got a ticket for not knowing where to go.
angelitared 27
Sure you were lost. Creeper!!!
SuperDanielNL 23
Paranoia, Paranoia everywere... They would probably have shot you if you knocked at the door for directions.
nightbirdblue 27
Or taken their suicide pills to prevent you from doing heinous things to them.
rachaelward 19
Wow someone was a little paranoid haha
Wakachulak 22
Way to honor the guy code OP, respect! Directions are for *******!
websphere69 27
I do hope they gave you directions at least, but not sure why the cops would care....
thatnucca 36
Where I'm from, someone would stop you and ask if you needed help, and not call the cops out of paranoia... I partially blame the media though...