Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I moan too much when we have sex. I actually just fake my moans in an effort to cover the sound of my cracking hips. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 29
I'm so disappointed that this story started with the phrase "milk it," and then never had any reference to *******! :( I once was making out with this girl who was sitting in my lap and she said, "I like your size." I asked, "You can tell it just from sitting on my lap?" And she said, "I meant sighs!" That's a true story.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
nothing is wrong with being a virgin(: but sex FML's are the funniest to me
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
Hwikek 2
Perhaps Nissanman hopes that my Toyota will suffer a serious design flaw? I doubt it. Also I don't own that model(s)
nissanman_fml 16
I honestly couldn't care what car you own. Present me with a relevant point next time instead of changing the subject.
nissanman_fml 16
For your sake, I hope you're trolling.
Erindub 0
So? Talk to him about it. You're a retard if you don't.
picturescrazy 24
Haha, most people would milk it if you told them it turned you on xD
nikalb3 0
I can fill in until he stops
rockstatic 0
Sounds like you might have to actually talk to your boyfriend. FYL.
AJROCKS09 0
how can it ruin sex it's impossible the only thing that can ruin sex is stopping
Hwikek 2
Don't take this so seriously. It is just the Internet after all nissanman
dickster 0
That's what you get for wakin' up complai-nin'!
Rectumwrecker 0
no class at all...the politically correct term is twist one off!
AmbrosiaFan 18
YDI for not bothering to correct him.