Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I moan too much when we have sex. I actually just fake my moans in an effort to cover the sound of my cracking hips. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
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Top comments
perdix 29
I'm so disappointed that this story started with the phrase "milk it," and then never had any reference to *******! :( I once was making out with this girl who was sitting in my lap and she said, "I like your size." I asked, "You can tell it just from sitting on my lap?" And she said, "I meant sighs!" That's a true story.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
nothing is wrong with being a virgin(: but sex FML's are the funniest to me
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Comments (130)
gibbons88 0
why did you give him the opertunity op?
Hwikek 2
Nice how people decide things about me without even knowing who I am
Trollz4daLULZ 1
#84, YDI for being a deviant. YDI for being a shoplifter. YDI for the username "Hwikek".
Hwikek 2
I suppose it isn't the coolest user name in the world but hey
Hwikek 2
Why did people respond to my comment again?
nissanman_fml 16
Because you asked them to you frigging retard. If you're unfamiliar with this term here's the definition for you: re·tard [ree-tahrd] -Slang: Disparaging. a. a mentally retarded person. b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.
xMaNNiNGx119 0
So tell him to stfu
5t3ff1k4h 44
Now you know why guys hate it when girls fake, OP.
Hwikek 2
Ha ha! People are still posting comments about my comment! Will they ever stop?
Hwikek 2
This Lisa person seems to think that she "owned" me with her comments. Yet she did not. If you disagree write a comment
Morpheus414 0
Oh god, all I hear is moaning now.
wendyBrownies 0
I told my boyfriend once about me loving his ''moans''... He doesn't overmoan even after telling him about it... hehe FYL