Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML
Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML
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Top comments
kbaker90 0
Two things: 1. Poor girl. No wonder she's self-conscious. 2. OP, your man card, please. *holds out hand*
lazerdude07 0
what a jerk, if you gave her some compliments she might have higher confidence
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Comments (322)
530boy 0
hahaha nice bro!
Lil_miss_uchia 0
haha u ass hole
BluSkyNoise 0
smh....
thefallenoo 0
now you'll never see 'em again! way to go
DQ2011 0
haha, that's ALL he could think of?!?! that sucks
thathas2suck 0
someone didn't get any! you have to be gay if all you can come up with is her underwear and bra don't match.... YDI
sk8rchick97 0
lol soo true
christyxoxo 8
if you wouldn't have said that, you would've probably got laid by now, op.
wolverine1150 0
wow, not even "you look pretty"?!
kenjiisown 1
No more sexy time for you, my friend.
sourgirl101 29
Ok dude, quick damage control! Tell her she was so hot and you were so turn on that you couldn't think straight. And ofcousre, that all you could think of was ripping off those mix matched undies. Good luck clueless!
justbemellow 0
I'm sure if he posted it here, this advice is too late, haha.
bt2breakskn 0
future reference I suppose lol
missjonas15 0
hahaha I would marry u if I were that girl